Fun weekend.

I'm still very angry that Nathan ended up not coming with us this weekend. But thankfully, it turned out to be fun anyways. We got to my Rachel's place around 11:30, and relaxed a bit. After lunch (yay Panera!), we relaxed a bit more. I prepped my sweet potatoes for the candied yams I'm making today (best in the world!!), and even got to take a nap. It's one of the nice things about seeing friends I don't see very often. They really didn't mind that I was tired and told me to go lay down and they'd watch Celia. In fact, I think they even had some fun. We went over to the Walk after dinner, and had a nice time. It was a bit over 2 miles, and I'm really tired today. But for some reason, I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday. Not sure if all that walking helped stretch things out a bit, or if it's just getting better anyways. Thankfully I'm not as sore today as I thought I'd be. And Celia actually sat in her stroller the entire time...which is a miracle. She hates being in her stroller.

Of course, she woke up at 5:50, so I've been up for a bit, but at least I get to relax today. We may head out and do some shopping while the turkey is cooking. Canadian Thanksgiving is actually tomorrow, but we're celebrating today since everyone has to travel tomorrow. It's a tradition that Rachel started back in Buffalo (since it's so close to Canada, some things we do twice. ;) This way we get to spend Canadian Thanksgiving with our friends, and the American Thanksgiving with our families. And we get to have turkey and all the sides twice! Yeah!

I'm definitely more positive today. I still with Nathan was here to have fun too, but I am having fun without him. And Celia is being surprisingly good, which is really helping. I am not looking forward to driving back tonight, but I have my ultrasound at 8am. Just 24 hours until we find out the sex!! Provided baby cooperates, of course!

a bad day.

Apparently I'm having a very bad day. Last night I went over to a friend's house and had some fun beading and chatting. Got home around 10, and I got into bed, but couldn't sleep. Feel free to skip this post...it's a big venting session. And I'm being completely stupid and irrational.

Here's the problem.

Nathan is going camping with his dad and brothers-in-law this weekend. Leaving today and coming back Sunday. Not normally a problem. But it is because he was SUPPOSED to go to the Light the Night walk and to our friends house with me. I had told him this way back in July when I found out about it. He knew about it. I told him about it at least twice, and forwarded my friend's e-mails about it. Then comes later in August, when he and his dad are finding a weeknd for their camping trip. They have 2 choices...but only one works for the other BIL. I'm obviously pregnant, and scatterbrained, and worried about spotting and things...and when he asks me if we have anything planned, I say no. Stupid. completely stupid. Now comes a week later, when I realize the mistake...but he refuses to call his dad and see about changing the trip. Fine. So I'll just take Celia with me, stay at my friend's house (instead of a hotel, which would have been more of a mini-vacation), and take Celia to the walk. Not a big deal, right? Wrong! All week I've been extremely angry with Nathan for not trying to change the date once he knew there was a big conflict. And now I'm really angry that he's going. I know I'm being completely selfish, but with everything else going on, with his job, my job (so crazy busy that I don't have a second to stop and breathe), the baby, the pain I've been having, head aches, and exhaustion, I'm feeling like I"m losing it. I need his help this weekend. Granted I'll have friends there, but they'll only be so much help. I can't exactly go take a 3 hour nap before the walk because I'm exhausted. I have to do all the driving there and back. And I'm tired and feel like crap on top of it all. Plus Celia has had some issues lately with listening. She just looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language when I try to tlak to her and get her to do things. It's making me crazy!! I just wish he wasn't going. He KNEW that I needed his help for this particular weekend, and he refused to ask about changing it, even way back when there was plenty of time to do it.

Here's where I'm really upset. His priorities are completely fucked up. Seriously. His parents come first, followed by his job. Then Celia and I come in somewhere around 3rd or so. Maybe. He never says no to his parents. I'm sure there's been a time or two, but rarely. I'm going in for a C-section with Celia. It's made clear that we don't want them here until at least a week later. THEY FUCKING SHOW UP THAT DAY!!! Without any more warning than a phone call saying they're on the way. And then his lovely mother has the nerve to yell at me (less than 48 hours after said C-section) about not christening Celia. Hello- I'm Jewish!! I may not be practicing, but that's still never going to happen. So help me if they show up this time- I'm not allowing them in the room. Security will be called. I know it sounds extreme, but I don't want the extra stress. Last year, around this time, my mom and stepdad came for a visit. His parents were also coming to visit the same weekend because it was the same weekend as teh marathon. He never told me. Or he says that he did, like a year earlier- a lot of good thats' going to do. So he says his parents are staying with us. I ask him to please get them to stay at a hotel, because it was going to be too much with my mom and stepdad here too. That way we could coordinate things betteer without having to do everything as a group (I seriously hate group activities). He says they won't be a problem, and that he doesn't want to ask them to stay in a hotel. So they stay. And yet another bad weekend happens when it's crappy weather out and I'm stuck in Reston waiting for the marathon to end. With a kid who's miserable. They told me that if it got cold/windy/I wanted to go, that I could. But every time I grabbed Nathan and said -let's go, he refused. His dad was almost done...and over 2 hours later, I'm finally sitting on the metro, fuming. Last time I get roped into anything. Now this, where he won't ask his dad about changing things. It's a freaking camping trip, not brain surgery! It's like he's afraid to ask his parents for anything. I'm just so frustrated! Then there's the whole life insurance thing (which he still hasn't taken care of!!!). When he's like this, I really dislike him.
So he's on his way camping right now, and part of me is so glad that I don't have to look at him for a few days. I know a big part of this is completely irrational, but I'm pregnant and hormonal, so I have that right to be irrational. I'm really sore and I hurt (any time I move, get up, shift, sit, roll over), I feel like crap, and I have no idea how I'm going to manage this weekend without him there as backup.

Vent over...sorry for just laying it all out there. I just really needed to. I love my husband, but some things really make me nuts.

happy!

I just love ob appointments! I get to see my favorite doc, and hear the heartbeat, all at the same time! I talked with him about the "pain" I've been having, and he said that it's most likely stretching of the ligaments, which I had figured out. But that it may be a bit worse because of the fact that I had a C-section before, and there may be some scar tissue in there. No great shock, but I don't know why I didn't think of that! As for the shortness of breath, it's probably my getting anemic again. Apparently at my first appointment, my counts were all normal, but it's definitely possible that I'm anemic now. So if it gets any worse, we'll check it out and start me on supplements again if I need them. I'd like to prolong this as long as possible, because the Iron supplements make me constipated. Blech.

Took him a minute to find the heartbeat though, but since I feel baby moving a lot, I wasn't at all worried. And the second I heard that wonderful woosh, I was just rediculously happy! I love that sound!! One of these days I'll have to bring Celia in with me, so she can hear it. Or maybe I'll take her to an ultrasound. I thought about taking her to the one this Monday, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe next time.

Thankfully the discomfort has gotten better overnight. I sat my butt on the sofa after dinner, popped in the second disk of season 1 of Grey's Anatomy, and watched it (and the first 2 episodes of season 2 disk 1. I'll be though it at no time at this rate! I'm trying to stretch it out, but I really want to know what happens!! However, this show does make me cry. A LOT. Tuesday night I was watching one of the season 1 episodes where a little girl who is about 2 and a half is having some seizures, and it turns out half of her brain needs to be removed. And of course, the anesthesiologist is a bit drunk and falls asleep during the surgery. They show the little girl starting to wake up in the middle of surgery, and I just LOST it. Completely hysterical. I just want to keep Celia safe and sound, and I know it's completely unrelated, but it just really upset me. Needless to say I was a bit clingy with her yesterday. At any rate, I hope the ligaments settle down by saturday, so I can do my walk without hurting too much. Thankfully I'm doing it with a group of friends, so I'm sure I can pass the stroller onto someone else if I need to.

3 more days!!

Thank you so much to those of you who have donated to my Light The Night walk. I really appreciate it, and between you and family members, I have more than doubled my initial goal!! You rock!!

Here's your last chance to donate!! I have a total of 4 prizes, 2 skeins of yarn, in winner's choice of colorways, and 2 sets of stitch markers, again in winners choice of colors. If you donate before 6pm on Saturday, October 6th, you'll get your name in the drawing!!

Thanks again everyone!!

ouch.

When I was pregnant with Celia, I didn't have too much pain or discomfort until later on. This time, man am I sore!! I never really got what round ligament pain was until now. Or maybe I just blocked it out last time. Now, every time I stand up, walk around, or roll over, I get a nasty pain. And it moves on me too! It's just not comfortable at all. It feels almost as though part of me wants to just fall off every time I stand up. It's such an odd sensation.

Tomorrow is my next OB appt. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat again. And make sure all is really well. Off to find lunch! Darn refridgerator is still empty- never got around to grocery shopping last weekend. Oops!

Happiness Challenge #1

I decided to start 2 days early on this, because- why not?!
Thurs. Aug 30th: Some mommy-daughter time. My daughter has been asking me to paint her nails for a week, and I took time last night to do it for her. Then, she begged me to let her try to paint my nails. So I let her. She did an OK job, and today I'm walking around with slightly messy light purple fingernails. I did my toes myself (while I still can reach that far), in the same fun color. Overall, she did pretty well- my nails all have polish, and aren't too messy. The bad part is that she got a lot of the skin around the nails, but I cleaned as much as I could up. It just looks like I was drunk when I did them, and the smile on her face, and look of concentration, and the way she licks her lips when she's really focusing made it all worth it.
Aug 1-7: Well, this week didn't go as planned. My SIL came to visit, so Celia's and my breakfast ended up being a family affair, which was actually much better. Celia loves having someone else to sit next to other than me and her daddy. My walking didn't really happen this week either. Unfortunately it was too hot, or busy at work and I couldn't get away. However, I did go to Starbucks a few times and grab coffee...so I consider that my "me" time for the week.
Aug 8-14: This weekend, I went to take Celia to IHOP for pancakes, and before we got there, she said she had to go poop. So we get there, run straight for the bathroom, where she sat for a half hour. I finally convinced her that we'd just go home, and as we were washing our hands, she suddenly looked a bit green. So we rushed for the potty, and she threw up. Home we went, and had to cancel our slot at the library, and a birthday party she had been invited to. Poor kiddo. The next day, we did go shopping, and had a pretzle together at the mall. She liked that a lot. Again with the walking... It just didn't happen! Work has been a bit crazy, and Starbucks was my only break.
Aug 15-21: My mom came to visit this weekend! Celia had a blast, and even got a new bed (my old bed). We did sneak in a bit of time when I was dyeing on Sunday. She came in and dyed her own skein of yarn! I was so proud, and she really had fun. Walking this week- didn't happen at all. We had a course going on that I was teaching at, so I really had NO time to do anything but teach and work. Blech.
Aug. 22-28: Nathan took Celia camping, so instead of "mommy and me" time, there was much "me" time to be had. I relaxed, and dyed, and had a massage, it was perfect. I actually walked three times this week! I was proud of myself for that. And Celia had so much fun camping, that she can't wait to go again.
Aug 29-30: This weekend was filled with birthday parties. I did take her to gymnastics, which gave us a bit of time. I love watching her, she really does love it. And she's really good at it too!


So for my first happiness challenge, I did ok. I wouldn't call it a complete success, but it was pretty good overall. Celia and I had a bit of special time, which I plan to continue. And I did a few things for myself, which I also plan to continue. I hope!!

ok...

So where did September go??? Really?? I have no idea! It flew by so fast, and it's just impossible for me to believe that it's October 1st.

We had an interesting weekend. Most of it was a lot of fun (2 birthday parties), but there was a bit of stress too. I just can't escape the stress! So Friday I got home from my little craft show, and Nathan and Celia were just sitting down to dinner. I sat down with my Chicken McNuggets, and joined them. After a few minutes, Nathan starts telling me about a meeting he had that day. Apparently, things have been wierd for a while. We knew that HUD wasn't happy with their operation, and that they are trying to get rid of what they do. They have apparently reviewed things, and are supposed to make a formal statement this week, basically making what they do illegal. Not such a good thing. The good thing, is that they have lawyers ready to jump the second the formal statement comes out, and hopefully things will be stuck in the courts for a long time. But if not, and things do not go well, he'll be out of a job come January. Now, we were planning on moving in the fall, to space things out a bit (for his comfort, not mine). So...we talked, and came to the conclusion that if this does happen, and he is out of a job before the fall, that we'll just move whenever that happens. Then of course, I start looking around the house, thinking..."if we had to list the house fast, could we?". And of course, the answer is a big, fat NO!!! We have clutter, things to repair, and many things to clean up and organize before we can even consider listing the house. So yesterday was partly spent with me going through the office and going crazy trying to clean up some of the junk. Thankfully Nathan took the hint and started in the bedroom. Which was good- kept him busy, yet out of my way.

Then I start thinking of things that I really don't need to think about. IF we do move in Jan, (which really probably wont' happen), I'd need to find a new OB. And make sure insurance would cover everything. And find a house. And pack up a house while pregnant. The thought is so overwhelming, it kind of freaked me out. And during all this? Nathan is as calm as can be. He isn't even worried, or stressed, or freaking out in any way. He says that it's because his company is so optimistic that things will end up in the courts for quite a while that it won't affect us. I wish I could be that optimistic.