random

So, I went to my OB/GYN this morning, for my 6 month check-up and it was pretty uneventful. He was very optimistic about things, and said that even if we do have to use IVF, that he's optimistic things will work out. I said something about my being lucky, that I do have one child, so if that's all I get, I'll be OK with that and consider other options (like adoption), and he asked me not to resign myself to that yet. I'm only 30, and have plenty of time to try many different things before I have to worry about that. I tend to be negative and not get my hopes up, so if things don't work out, then I'm not completely crushed. Kind of a defense mechanism. I guess I need to work on being more optimistic. I also got my last pap results to send to the RE (the last thing I had to do before my next cycle so we can get started). Now all we have to do is get my hubby checked out (Apr. 12th I think) before next cycle, and we'll be good to go! I do have to get a mammogram as soon as my next cycle starts (to make absolute sure that I'm not pregnant now). Apparently some docs do it when you're 30, and others 35 when you have a family history of breast cancer. I'm glad he brought it up, since I was thinking about it.

My husband was funny this weekend. I asked him where the copy of The Infertility Survival Handbook was. I bought it a few months back, after we had seen the RE and found out (part of) what was going on. It was not at all easy for me to buy. I had it in my amazon.com shopping cart several times, but couldn't bring myself to buy it- I guess I was in denial. So I finally bought it a few months ago and wanted to sit with it again and re-read some parts. He had it on his nightstand, and I got it. I finally told him how hard it was for me to actually buy the book, and he walked over to me and gave me a huge hug. He told me that he had no idea that it was that hard, and that he loved me. It was really sweet. I have a tendancy to not talk about things, or think about things, or let him know how things effect me, until I can't take it and I blow up. I'm trying very hard to be better about that.