Wednesday, June 17, 2009


It's been several months since I posted over here. Which leads me to the fact that I don't really feel at home here anymore. I have been leaning towards shutting this blog down, and focusing on my knitting blog. So if you care to follow me over there, feel free! I'd love to have you.

Thanks for the 2 plus years of support and friendship! I hope you'll continue to read my other blog, as I'll still continue reading all of yours.

Friday, April 17, 2009


Seth still sounds pretty good! He had a little wheezing last night, but some alb.uterol took that right away. His congestion is WAY better. He hasn't sounded this good in months, seriously! I'm thrilled. Celia still has a cold, and is taking her allergy meds well. She said this morning that she had a headache, but went to school, and barely noticed when I left. So much easier than the little girl who used to cry and cling to me whenever I left. Much easier.

Last night, Celia hit 10 days in a row of being dry. I have no idea how it happened, but she suddenly decided it was time to stop having accidents. Of course, it's as we're going through the process of having her tested for things, and she has a flow test in 2 weeks to see what's going on. She apparently doesn't empty her bladder completely when she goes. At any rate, she's doing much better! And to celebrate, we went out for dinner to the restaurant of her choice- Greene Turtle. I am just SO proud of her!!

I'm really looking forward to the weekend! I have a bunch of friends from my knitting groups coming over to learn how to dye yarn. Some of them have done it before, others haven't, so I expect it will be a blast! We're going to set up outside and just have a full day of dyeing, snacking, drinking wine, and just having fun! I can't wait!!

I'm also really excited that I finally broke down and joined a CSA! I'll be splitting the share with one of my knitting friends, and it's going to be awesome. Can't wait to have a full summer of fresh veggies and fruits. It's going to be amazing! I'm also looking forward to trying some new veggies that I haven't really used before. Just awesome.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


We met with the allergist yesterday, and all I can say is that she is FANTASTIC!! I love her. AND, she sees adults too. So I can see her and get myself squared away too.

Anyway, she was great. She spent about 45 minutes with us, and went over everything. I have to say I'm so lucky to have the doctors that we have for Seth- they all actually care, and are willing to spend extra time with us. We went over his whole history, his symptoms, his asthma episodes, and the like. She definitely wants to do major allergy testing on him (next week, after he has been off his zyr.tec for a week), but she also wants to do an immune workup on him. Lots of bloodwork, to make sure we're not missing anything. And if the skin test comes out inconclusive, we can just do blood tests at the same time. Nice. We also had a follow-up with Dr R (the pulmonologist) today, and he was definitely happy to hear that we're getting the immune workup done. We'll see what it says. And he's hopeful that after spring, we'll be able to back off his meds a little. I'm not optimistic, but he is. Nice to think about the possibility of this getting better. He also wants us using the Naso.nex daily, as well as the Zyrte.c (after the allergy testing). Anything to help is a good thing. We're off to a good start this week with him too- his breathing was crystal clear!!

Though Celia is another story. She had a little bit of a temp yesterday, and cold symptoms. I kept her home and had her rest all day (with the exception of going to Seth's appt with us), and got some work done. She was fine today, but tonight I noticed she is warm again. Took her temp and it was 100.1. I'm curious to see what it is at in the morning. Bah.

Monday, April 13, 2009

got milk?

The end of last week, I took Celia in to see Dr. D because her allergies have been acting up for a month, and I'm not sure what to do with it. So we've got her started on Clar.itin and will see if it helps. If not, we go to, and if not, I call him back and we try all.egra. Fun times. The next morning, Seth woke up congested still, and sounding lousy, so I took him in to see Dr. D. Two days in a row, at around the same time, I found it funny. Anyway, we chatted, he listened to Seth, looked him over, and he thought for a bit. We switched him back to Augm.entin for 3 weeks, since his sinus infection didn't seem to really be clearing well. Then he brings up another thing, which I was totally afraid of hearing- a possible milk allergy. He suggested I take him to an allergist to have some testing done, and see what comes up. But said to stop giving him any milk protein at all from now on and see if it makes a difference. I figured it would take a bit to get in to see the allergist, but when I called this morning, they said they had a cancellation at 2:30, so we get to go today. Of course, Celia has to go with us, because she's home sick with a cold.

Let me tell you how hard it is to avoid milk! No milk (well duh), cheese, yogurt, anything with milk in it (bread, muffins, pancakes, etc), and lots of things I"m sure I haven't thought of yet. Of course, I made pancakes yesterday, and added milk and butter without thinking about it. And the corn we had for our pre-easter dinner had butter in the sauce. So he didn't get to have any. He was NOT amused.

At least Easter was lovely. We met up with a friend of mine from Grad school who came to town for a vacation with her husband and daughter. It was so much fun to see her, and her daughter C and Celia are the same age, so they had a blast! We hit the Zoo, and saw the Pandas, lions, tigers, and lots of other animals. It was so much fun!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Cherry blossoms

This weekend, we spent a lot of time outside! The weather was lovely, warm, breezy, and sunny. And, our beautiful cherry tree was in bloom- each day getting a few more blossoms to pop out. So I took advantage of the situation, and took TONS of pictures of it. I got to play with my new camera a LOT, and got some amazing pics. Some I plan to blow up and put in our bathroom as art, and maybe put a few of them in Celia's room too.

We also took some time to work on our gardens. We bought the wood for the raised beds, and soil, and started working on them. Nathan also tilled all of the soil. The area where the raised bed is, was all grass before we got our hands on it this weekend. There is also another one to the left of the brick-bordered garden. The brick one is what we had last year, so we're really increasing our garden space. We also loaded them with soil, and planted some peas. The others will wait, as it's still too cool here at night to plant the tomatoes or other goodies. However I did make two window boxes for my kitchen window- one with lettuce, and the other with herbs I started.

Then a few great shots I got of the kids:

Can you tell how much I LOVE my new camera?!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

so many things, so little time

A recap of the last few weeks:

Seth has been sick AGAIN. Another sinus infection. And he ended up back on ora.pred, after wheezing like crazy for a few days. Poor baby can't catch a break.

Seth went to the ENT again, to see if there is anything they can do for him, with recurrent sinus infections. Thankfully (or not), there is nothing. We just have to keep him on strong antibiotics for 3 full weeks, and irrigate his nasal passageway daily. I ordered a kit and it arrived yesterday. Thankfully he doesn't mind it too much. After the irrigation we use Naso.nex to help reduce swelling in the passages. Here's to hoping it works!!

Celia had a sonogram and Xray to help figure out what is going on with her bladder. She's still having daily accidents (at 5 years of age), and she's even getting frustrated with it. We meet with the Urologist on Friday to see what the results are.

I took Celia to the airprot last monday, and picked her up last friday, so she could travel to Disney World with my mom and step dad. Thankfully I was able to go through security with her, and even got to have lunch with my mom/stepfather both days. They had an absolute blast, and Celia can't stop talking about Disney, and the fun things she did and saw. I can't wait to take her some day!

I had a huge show and sold a ton of yarn! I was completely overwhelmed, and thrilled at the success.

I also will be having my yarn in a booth at the Maryland Sheep and Wool festival. More details on that to come! But I'm thrilled, and am busy getting all the yarn I'll need dyed up for it.

I took some of my profit and put it towards credit cards, which was very satisfying. And took more and bought more yarn. And took some more, and put it towards part of a camera that I've been wanting. I bought it this weekend, because I really need to be able to take true to color photos for my shop. It's incredible. And the pics I've taken have been outstanding. I'm in love with a camera. I admit it.

Planned a weekend away in May, with me, my MIL and my SILs in Pennsylvania. We're meeting in the middle, in Williamsport, and going to chill out, craft, and relax all weekend. With out any kids. It's going to be great!

I think that is all. I leave you with a pic I took of the kids over the weekend with my new camera. They are just so adorable!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Wow, it's been ages since I have posted!! Lots has gone on, and all of it is good!!

I had a work trip to Lubbock, TX last week, and overall it was pretty good. I helped teach a course for 3 days, and that went well (minus a few glitches). The hotel I was at had a happy hour every night, which was fun- pretty yummy margaritas too! Dinners were great, I ate tex-mex twice, and great steak twice. Can't complain about that!! All I can say is YUM. It was really good to come back home though, I really missed the DH and kids! 5 days away is a lot. But at the same time, it was 5 days of uninterrupted sleep, so I can't complain!

Got home on Friday, and the inlaws were already at the house. Dinner was ready, which helped a lot too! I didn't have to do any dishes (I would have revolted if I had to), and I just put my feet up for the evening. The weekend was OK. Got some dyeing done for a huge show I'm in this week. If you're in the DC metro area, check out The Homespun Yarn Party, happening on Sunday between 12 and 5. It's going to be amazing- lots of indie dyers (including ME!), and other fun shops will be there.

Seth is still doing great at his new day care. He had a brief fever on Sunday, but it broke by the following morning. Followed by a rash- which means it's a reaction to his shots he had a few weeks ago. So at least I knew what it was when I saw it, and it was no big deal. He's as happy as can be, active, and doing just great! Celia's doing well too. She had fun with her grandparents, and they both stayed home on Monday to have extra nana/papa/great grandma time. She had a blast.

Next up- a trip for Celia to Disney with my mom/step dad. She can't wait for that- and she can't stop talking about it. She already has her outfit all picked out for the plane. What a sweetie.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

day care

I really struggled with pulling Seth out of his day care. I love the teachers, he's happy there, and the teachers all love him. But with him getting sick so much, it was hard not to at least try changing things around a bit. So we found an in-home day care for him, right near our house. It's a nice place, a lady's house, who has a friend who comes every day too (it allows them to have 4 infants instead of just 2 with 1 teacher). And they are both very familiar with asthma, which helped make that decision a lot easier. Every other place I saw, freaked a bit when I mentioned asthma, and said they were fine with it as long as they didn't have to do his meds. Which from time to time, he does need during the day.

SO, he started his new day care on Monday, and he LOVES it. He has a girlfriend already, a little girl who is 18 months old. She loves to hug and kiss him, and he loves it too. It's so cute! His teachers are both great, and they're all impressed at how well he's adjusted so quickly. He slept for 2 1/2 hours the first day, which apparently is unusual for babies in a new situation. But he did great! I'm so relieved. And the fun part, is that Celia usually goes to pick him up with me. And she made a friend there too, who is 6 and goes to Kindergarten, but is there after school every day. She kept asking about playing iwht her, so I asked the teacher if there are any spots available for the summer for Celia. And there was one, so I've now got that. Definitely cool that we found a nice place, that is way cheaper than we've been paying, for both kids. Celia will stay in her current place through June until she graduates from Prek. SO excited about this!

Other things are falling into a better rhythm. Work has been better, with me being able to BE there. I've been really productive, which has been great. Though am meeting the week after next with HR to make sure I"m covered by FMLA in case the baby is sick and my manager gets upset with me again. I don't want to screw up any more. I do like my job, and I"d like to keep it.

I finally got up the nerve to start asking around about expanding my yarn business a little bit. I went to one of my favorite LYS's and showed the owner some of my stuff, and she's placed an order with me for June! 7 colorways and 3 skeins of each colorway to start. And then we'll see how it goes. I can't wait. I'm way excited about this, and it will be so much fun to really get some dyeing in. I spent yesterday dyeing up a bunch of new colorways too, and I"m thrilled with how they came out! I can't wait for them to dry so I can skein them up and see how they really look. I've also been accepted to a big sock show that's going to be happening this summer in Oregon. I'm still deciding on whether it's possible to do it or not, and how much I'd have to sell to make it worth it. But it's a lot of fun to dream, and think that I could be part of the first ever Sock Summitt. I get giddy just thinking about it!! It would be a business expense, and it would really get my yarn out there. So I"m considering it. I'm also speaking with an owner about getting my yarn in her booth at the Sheep and Wool festival. That would be amazing. Really amazing!

Aside from that, I head to Texas tomorrow for the week. I get to teach a course for 3 days with a few other co-workers. It should be neat. We haven't taught a course to so many before (we're used to 12-15, and we'll have 40). Nice to be getting teaching experience in. Always helpful. Well, have to run and pack!! Hopefully the airport won't be snowed in tomorrow! What is it with snow in March?!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Happy Birthday Celia!!

Happy Birthday baby girl!! I can't believe you are 5 today! It feels like just yesterday that you came into our lives, and every moment has flown by. I wish you could stop growing up so fast, but am glad that you can't. It is so much fun to see you grow into the big girl that you are today! My little lady. My sweet girl. You are truly amazing!

You wow us every day. You love your gymnastics class, computer games, Super Mario Galaxy and Wii Sports, reading books, helping mommy cook and being a great big sister. I can't believe how big you are, and I can't wait to see where the next year takes us. I hope you still continue to enjoy our friday night sleep overs in the office, special shopping trips, walking to the stump with the hole, trips to the library, and starbucks hot chocolate. You are my baby girl, who is not a baby anymore. You're 5!!

Happy Birthday Celia, I love you!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Happy Birthday Sethy! I can't believe you are one years old today.

One year ago, I was sitting in triage, getting hooked up to monitors, waiting to see how you were doing, and whether you were going to be born. I was contracting away every few minutes. Not full labor contractions, but contractions none-the-less. I remember being scared. Because my own mother was in the hospital having a series of tests after a heart attack. Feeling helpless because I couldn't be there with her. But so excited because I knew that I'd be meeting you soon.

You have been such a good baby. Such an easy baby. Minus the asthma, of course. You're happy, and love to laugh, eat, sleep and play. You love to hug. You love to blow kisses (but always turn your head away when I go to kiss you). You love to point with your index finger ("ET, phone home"). You have a smile that melts my heart every single time. I cannot express the joy you have brought to my life this past year. And I look forward to the next years with excitement to see what comes next.

I love you Seth. Happy birthday!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

ups and downs

The ups:
The rats/mice/chipmunks that were getting into the walls are now officially BANNED! The Trapper came yesterday, and a full day later, and the labor of 2 men, the house is now rat-proof. Yes!!

I found Seth a new day care! It's right around the corner from us, no further than his other place, just in the opposite direction. Is way cheaper (like 135 cheaper per week), fewer kids, 2 fabulous teachers, in a home setting. And they were totally fine with the asthma, and offered to give him nebs when he needs them. Perfect!! OH- and thanks to Mamasource, the first 2 weeks are FREE.

The downs:
Celia is sick. She has a horrible cough, and when she coughs/sneezes, her throat hurts. So she gets to go to the Dr this morning. And likely stay home. Bah.
ETA: Celia has a cold. But nothing more. Since sh'es been pretty congested for about a week, and Seth has had a sinus infection, Dr D gave us a script for antibiotics. I'm to fill it if she's not better tomorrow. So she's at school, and I"m at work. Today. We'll see about tomorrow. I hate when my gut tells me to keep her home, but my fear of losing my job trumps that.

I'm getting nervous about my 2 appointments this week. Tomorrow is my baby's first birthday, and the first thing I get to do is see my OB/GYN- the man who delivered my little guy. Kind of fitting I guess. I'm curious to see what's going on down below. And see if I have an actual problem, or if the "atypical squamous cells" are due to the uti I had. Which the nurse said may be the case. I'm hoping it's not hpv...or something more. But if it is, I'll deal with it. I'm not looking forward to the urologist appt. But it will be nice to be able to finally put an end to the UTIs. At least for a while. Just not excited about the possibility of being scoped. OUCH.

More ups:
My baby turns 1 tomorrow!! Where has the time gone?

My baby girl turns 5 in a week and 1 day!! How did she get so big so fast??

I've managed to sell off a ton of my yarn to help pay for the repairs. Sad to see it go- some of it I had big plans for. BUT, when money is tight, there is nothing else to do. Thank goodness for Ravelry...lots of knitters went crazy on my for sale stash, and now I have some cash.

Monday, February 16, 2009


I just got a call from my OB's office, saying they definitely want me to consult with a urologist. Apparently my culture had some crystals and sediment, which is a precursor of kidney stones. I hang up, and pull up the website for my insurance company to find the number for the person they recommended. I say something like "well at least that's all it is, and it's not my pap that was abnormal!". Out loud. To my husband.

Phone rings two seconds later- it's the nurse calling back, saying they need me to come in for another pap because it was abnormal. They need to check for hpv. Are you fucking kidding me?! So I get to go in again on Thursday morning. I've never had an abnormal pap this is kind of freaking me out a bit.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day!

My mom left early this morning, so all is back to "normal". I have to say, I really loved having her here. There's just something about having my mom around that makes everything feel OK. She took great care of Seth, had some fun with Celia, and spent some quality time with me and Nathan. It was really great. I'll miss having her around! It was really a huge help having Seth well taken care of and being able to go to work without any worries. My step father even drove down yesterday to pick her up so she didn't have to fly home. I guess he was feeling a bit jipped because my mom got to spend all that time with the kids, and he was missing out. It was nice. Of course, we were supposed to go up there this weekend, but that got put on the back burner for now. Have to find time this spring to go up.

We've had a quiet Valentines day. I even got to take a 3 hour nap today! Talk about spoiled. We decided to not do anything "big" for the holiday (or for the kids birthdays or our anniversary in light of having to rodent-proof the house). So I made pasta for dinner, and we're going to just chill out and relax the rest of the evening. Celia had a "sweetheart dance" at school yesterday, so Nathan took her to that while I stayed with the baby. Since they got back and she was toast, our weekly "sleepover" got postponed til tonight. So tonight, we'll all have a sleepover in our bed. Sethy is in his room, of course. And we're in our room instead of the guest room because of the rats. They are really in the wall along the office (burrowing in under the siding at the fireplace). They are also in the corner of the wall in our room, but we'll have Nathan to protect us. :) She is such a cutie.

On the day care front, I've met with two in home places. Liked them both, and am trying to decide what to do. It would be nice to have an extra hundred dollars a week, that's for sure.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Well, the trapper came yesterday, and it's bad. Really bad. they're getting in by crawling up under the siding and chewing their way through in an area that isn't sealed properly- along the ENTIRE back of our house. So now we get to pay over 2K to have this fixed. Talk about bad timing.

SO, if you're a knitter, and looking to buy some yarn, I'm destashing my personal stash. I've listed a bunch of things on my knitting blog in hopes that I can make up some cash fast. Thankfully Ravelry has already helped, and I'm getting rid of a bit. Or check out my etsy shop if you want to see some of the yarn I've dyed.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Not mice, but likely rats. Or squirrels or chipmunks. We now have 3 or 4 different types of traps, and if they don't work, we get to call a trapper. Just great.

Seth and my mom had fun today. She cleaned and he watched. He was amazed at all the cleaning- not something he's used to seeing. But will be as we're going down to having our cleaning lady once a month instead of every other week.

Started looking into in home day care, and think I found a great place. Right around the corner, the house is SPOTLESS, and there is only ONE other baby there! Have to check out a few other places first, but looks promising.

Lastly, Seth is not sounding better. At all. In fact, he sounded a little better yesterday, but today is worse. Peachy. At least we see my favorite Dr. D tomorrow morning. Sigh.

Sigh of relief

My mom got in yesterday, her shuttle was in the driveway when I got home, and she was just getting out! Perfect timing. We had a nice dinner, fired up the grill and made burgers. Then I filled her in on Seth's routine, and showed her where his meds are and how to do the neb. And I got up this morning, ate breakfast and got to work, with no worries at all. I'm so glad she came to help out. It makes a huge difference.

And...she will be there today when the Terminix buy comes- because we have some furry critters in the walls that need to be taken out. AKA mice...or chipmunks...or other things I refuse to think about. Shudder.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I have the best mom.

Really, I do! My mom is just amazing.

The phone rang this morning at around 9 (believe it or not, just after we finished breakfast- banana pancakes and sausage). My mom had an idea. She has some time built up at work, and she was offering to fly down for a few days to help take care of Seth during the day, so N and I can both go into work. I never would have even thought of this as being an option, and here she was, offering it up. We hung up, and she asked me to think about it, talk it over with N, and call her back later.

I got some dyeing done, some for my yarn club, some for fun. Talked it over with the hubs, and we both decided that it was the perfect solution. She's willing to help us out, and with Seth still sounding horrible, and us not being able to send him to day care yet, it works perfectly. And now I won't be forced to send him back to day care on tuesday or wednesday before he's ready. He can be home all week, without giving it a second thought. I called my mom back, and accepted her generous offer. She's flying in tomorrow (N will stay home with Seth) and will leave on Saturday. She'll be such a huge help, I can't even explain it in words. I've been so nervous about having to tell my boss I'd be out a few more days this week. Now I don't have to be! I'm completely overwhelmed by her offer, and am so grateful that she's able to help us out like this. Especially now, with the economy being as it is, and the job market being even worse, if we were both to lose our jobs at the same time, we'd literally have to move back home, live in my mom or my inlaws house, and deal that way. Doesn't sound like fun. I wanted to move back there eventually, but not like that. Hopefully this will be Seth's last go of it for a while. Everything crossable is crossed.

On a selfish note, I'm excited to get to spend some extra quality time with my mom! And without having to drive up to B-lo. So instead of driving up north next weekend, we'll take it easy, let Seth rest up, and get some things done around the house. We've even made some progress in that department this weekend! N loaded up the back of my CR-V with stuff from the garage (torn out carpet and vinyl flooring, trash from when we did the bathroom, and loads of other random things), and took 2 trips to the dump. We got the kitchen a little better organized, emptied a few boxes of random crap/clutter that have been in the kitchen for months and months. Definitely nice.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

roller coaster

I feel like I'm stuck on an amusement park ride and can't get off. Seth is sick again. Here's the low down:
The day of his surgery was perfect. He was fabulous! No fever, happy, little crankiness, it was awesome!
The next day, he was perfect in the morning, went to day care, and had a great day. After we put him in bed Wednesday night, he was coughing a bit. We had done some albuterol before he went down, because he was a bit congested and was coughing a little, but not badly. He woke himself up, coughing and a bit wheezy, but nothing bad. So we gave him more albuterol at that point, and he went back to bed. This was a good thing, because I was sick myself at this point. My cold had been lingering for weeks, and my throat was a mess. I went to my Doc a few hours after Seth's surgery on Tues and found out I had strep. So was very sick, and slept ALL day- from 9 until 3. The phone rang twice, I answered, and fell right back to sleep. That's how sick I was.
Thursday morning, he sounded pretty good, but we gave him albuterol anyways. It was off to day care, and off to work (and an OB/GYN appt for me, for my annual, and because I ended up with yet another UTI- seriously this is enough!!). I stayed at work til about 5, and headed home to get the kids. I walked into Seth's room, and they told me he'd been wheezing for the last few hours, but it hadn't gotten bad until about 20 minutes before. I grabbed him, grabbed his sister, and got home to do his albuterol treatment ASAP. It didn't help, and at that point, he was hot. I took his temp, and it was 102.5, so I started to freak a bit. They had said after the surgery if he starts wheezing a lot or gets a fever over 102, or a bunch of other symptoms, to call them or take him to the ER. Given his history, I called his pulmonologists office (Dr R), and called the cell number on there. Thankfully it is a small office, so I spoke to the doc after 2 rings, and he suggested I take him to the ER. Apparently after anesthesia, pneumonia can be a concern. So it was off to the ER for us. 5 hours later, we got home, after ruling out pneumonia, RSV, Flu and Strep. Thankfully we had his follow-up scheduled with Dr R on Friday anyways, so timing couldn't have been better.
Friday morning, I stopped by work to grab my laptop and take care of one thing I had to do for that morning, and then we went to see Dr. R. The nurse was pleased his pulse-ox was so good, considering how he sounded. The doc put him on ora.pred again, because he sounded a bit wheezy and rough even an hour and a half after his neb treatment. And said to call him Monday if he wasn't significantly better.

Through all this, I'm terrified about my job. It has been made known that my working from home so much isn't a good thing. Especially when I haven't been as productive as I usually am. But honestly, when you've got a kid who is sick, screaming when you put him down, and just miserable, what else are you supposed to do?? It's exhausting, stressful, and I spend most of my days worried about him and his breathing. I'm doing the best I can to make progress on a few projects, and realize that in the last few months, I haven't been doing as much as I should be. I'm trying to change that. I've got a system set up for when I'm at home. I have lists, and calendars, and time tables for what I'm doing when, and make sure I have things I can do in 15-30 minute slots, so I don't start something big if I only have a little time. I have NO family here to help. My husband can help sometimes, but not all the time. He tries. But his job is in jeapordy too- especially when they'll likely be out of business this spring. Unless something major happens. So he needs to be present too. And I'm the mom. I worry! If my kid is sick, wheezing non-stop, feverish, and irritable, if I'm not there, I can't focus on anything but him. That is my issue, but it's still there. My kids are my priority, and that is just how it is. I think what upset me the most was getting an e-mail yesterday, as I'm sitting in the waiting room for Dr R, saying that I need to get more done before it effects my performance. That I need to be careful. What the hell am I supposed to do the day after my son has been in the ER?! There was NO way I could take him to day care after having a higher fever like that. And with his breathing so bad, there was no way they'd even take him if I tried. That is neglectful. I'm really at a loss for what to do. The surgery was PLANNED. I took the day off for that. The day after was up in the air anyways, depending on how the surgery went. I did not plan to get strep throat and feel so crappy. I didn't plan that at all. I still went in the next day, even though I had a nasty UTI, and felt like dying still. I was there. And I got a crapload done. I was home yesterday, and the baby was so sick, he slept from 11 til 3:45, and I was able to work basically from 10:30 til 4:30. My husband had come home 2 hours early so I could at least get a little work done in the afternoon. I got more done last night. I'll do more today. What else can I do?? I was aware of the problem after I came home from Miami. I have done all I can to fix it. It's not like I"m having fun being at home, and having a sick kid. I hate having to pump him full of drugs and steroids and antibiotics all the time. He's misreable. It's exhausting. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. And now I'm afraid of losing my job because of this. I've been there for 6 and a half years. Almost 7 years. And during most of that time my performance and productivity have been high (or at least my supervisors have all been happy with me, and my work). After a few months of dealing with a sick kid and being sick myself several times, yes- I admit that my productivity has been lower. How could it not be? But does a few months of lower quantity wipe out 6 plus years of high? I just don't know what to do here. The stress of this is overwhelming, and I still have my son to take care of. Not cool.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

super fast!

I can't believe how fast the surgery went!! I was able to go back while they put him out, since he was only 2 weeks away from the 1 year mark where they usually let a parent back. I insisted, and they gave me no trouble with it. I held his hands and told him to be brave, and that he was going to take a little nappy, and that I'd see him in a bit. He was out cold, and I went back to the pre-op room, where we collected our stuff and went to the waiting room. I had a minute to drink a few sips of coffee, update my twitter and facebook, and then the doc came out! I first thought it was to say hi before the procedure, but it was because she was already done. I barely played two levels of my brick breaking game on my black berry. So we sat tight for 5 more minutes, while they woke our little prince up, and got to go back pretty much right away. He was MAD. But doing pretty well. He woke up pretty fast and was alert and trying to jump out of my lap in no time. After some juice and getting him calm, we were discharged. We got home by 9...which is funny because some mornings I'm just barely out the door at 9. He did great. The doc said she got "a lot, a lot of fluid" out of his ears, and that she gave him a refill on the antibiotic drops in case he's still draining after the first batch is gone. She expects him to be because of all the fluid in there.

I am so glad we did this. It was so easy on him, probably harder on me than it was on him. He's sleeping in his room right now, and I'm here resting because, of course, I barely slept last night. Let's just hope it helps him stay healthy from here on out!

ETA: He just took a two hour nap, and woke up SO happy!! I changed his diaper without him screaming or crying. Knowing how much fluid was in his ears, I wonder if it hurt or was pressure when laying down. That could make a lot of sense... I'm curious to see how the next few diapers go. He ALWAYS cried when changing his diaper. And he just laughed and smiled through the whole thing. Hmm...

Monday, February 2, 2009


Seth has been busy growing up lately! He's getting so big. At his doctors appt last week (to clear him for surgery) he weighed in at 22 pounds!! My little guy is growing up.

He has his surgery tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous about it, but am sure he'll be fine. Just another thing to do. At least it is early and he should be home by noon. Not going to be fun though. I just want him to not need the surgery at all. It's an in and out procedure, that only lasts about 10-15 minutes. He does get put to sleep, which I don't like. Hopefully it will be over before we know it, and he won't have any bad reactions to the anesthesia. Fingers are crossed!! I also hope that it helps him stay healthy. My boss has been so patient letting me work from home when I've needed to...but I have a feeling her patience is running out. It's not fair to everyone else that I'm working from home so much, and I haven't been nearly as productive as I should be. Hoping that he's over the hump and he'll be healthy from here on out.

He's just about ready to take his first steps too! He keeps thinking about it, but he isn't quite there yet. He lets go with one hand, then the other. And really thinks about it. It's very cute.

I also had my first trip away from the baby! I left on Saturday morning, the 24th, and came back at 2am on Tuesday the 27th. I got to go to Miami for my Aunt Debbie's memorial service, and it was absolutely incredible. I got to spend lots of time with my cousins, the rest of my dad's family. Just a few of us cousins made the trip, but it was SO much fun! I did get some good insight from my cousin who has 5 kids, all of whom have had ear tubes and breathing issues. We went out both nights I was there, until 2am, drank like crazy (but not too much), and just had a blast. It was awesome.

So lots of firsts. And Seth has 6 teeth now (four on top, two on the bottom). And I am working towards getting Celia enrolled in Kindergarten. I called the elementary school today (love that it's literally in our back yard) and have her name down and we'll be getting paperwork soon. Just crazy!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

end of chapter.

Well, I've been thinking about this post for a week, and I'm finally ready to write it.

Over the past few months, we've been getting bills from SG fertility clinic, which I've ignored. I haven't been able to deal with them. Until a few weeks ago. I finally called, and found out that it was the $360 for embryo storage. I think that subconsciously I knew exactly what the bill was for, but wasn't able to deal with it. Monday, I finally grabbed the letter they sent us to sign, made copies of our licenses, and we signed it and got it in the mail. In the back of my head, that last embryo was there as a security blanket. And now it's gone. And I'm OK with that.

On another note, I have been in a funk lately. At first I thought it might just be the holidays, but I don't think it is. I am dealing with a lot right now, between Nathan possibly being out of a job in 2 months, the baby being sick every time I turn around, and being stressed about everything. We do not communicate well. And I've been "acting out" by spending money that I shouldn't be. I talked to my therapist about it on Monday, and we agreed that it is a good idea for Nathan to come with me next time. So she can gauge how things are really going, with my spending, stress level, and work on our communication together. I'm nervous to see how it goes, but I"m sure all will be good.

For now, I'm just sick, exhausted, and about to take a big dose of cough medicine that will knock me out for the night.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


We saw the ENT today, Dr C. She saw him, looked in his ears (where we find that his right ear has fluid in it= thus explaining the fever/crankiness from the last few days), and sent him for hearing tests. Thankfully they came back normal. Except for the one test they do in the hospital when they're born- dont' remember what it's called. But she repeated that. And his left ear is fine, but his right one failed. Due to the fluid in his ears, most likely. Makes a lot of sense. So, after the test, we spoke with the doctor again, and she immediately recommended ear tubes. So after going over the pros/cons, procedure, etc, we scheduled him. So he gets tubes put in on the 3rd of february. And in the mean time, we get to watch out for his fever to spike which would be a sign that he has an actual ear infection now. The fluid is there...just gotta wait for infection to start. Just lovely. That will make 3 weeks between ear infections. And he has been wheezing a bit.

So I bought this stethoscope which came in this week. I have been listening to his lungs every day, to get a feel for what he sounds like, and to train my ears a bit. I used to be an EMT in NY about 14 years ago, so I'm trying to remember what things sound like. The first few days he sounded pretty good, just a little wheeze here and there, but nothing really significant. Then yesterday, there were more of them. Needless to say, he's gotten some albuterol, and I'm keeping a close eye on him. Hoping to avoid an appt with Dr D tomorrow, but we'll see.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

great start

2009 is going to be fun. Heh. Seth has another fever. 100.3 this morning. Not high, but higher than I'd like and I can't send him to day care. At least we already have an appt with an ENT tomorrow morning. Curious to see how his ears look.

I did finally order a stethoscope and otoscope though. The stethoscope came in the other day, and I'm working on getting a feel for how he sounds "normal". Otoscope will be here in a few days, thankfully. At least they will help me gauge things a little better.

Friday, January 2, 2009

will it ever end?

My mom and step father came in on Tuesday, so I've been a bit busy with them. Some cooking, some shopping, some fun, and some more sickness. Because it wouldn't be me without mentioning more sickness in one of my posts. Seth is still a bit sick, his stomach was back to normal for a whole 24 hours, and he's started with the runs again. Plus his breathing is turning to crap again. More wheezing, coughing and the like. I feel like a broken record. Luckily Celia is healthy (Knock on wood!). My mom and step father, brother, SIL, DH, the kids and I went to dinner last night, which was fun. I had my favorite thing from Macaroni Grill, the honey balsamic chicken, and a few glasses of their house chianti. Everyone else ate different things, but all were yummy. This morning we were all supposed to go to have portraits taken, and my mom called saying that she and my step father were sick. Stomach viruses, sour stomach with the fever/chills, head ache, weakness, etc. So they ended up leaving today and heading home (though only made it 1/3 of the way home because they were feeling too sick), while the rest of us had breakfast (salami and eggs- a family favorite!) and then went for pics. It was awesome! A woman I knew from work had recommended a photographer to us (she is one too, but on break for a few months), so we went to his home and had some pics taken. He took a ton of them, all different combinations of us. Some of the kids by themselves, together, then some of me with the kids, me with each one, all 4 of us, then some of my bro and his wife, some of me and my bro, some of my bro, his wife and the kids, etc. It was fantastic! I can't wait to see them. I was initially a bit worried because the baby didn't get his morning nap in, but thankfully he was happy, and ended up having a blast. The photos will be online in a day or two, and I can't wait to see them!!

Here's to hoping the rest of the weekend is great, and the baby feels better. My bro and SIL have some friends in town too, so we won't see them again. We have the weekend to our selves, and can rest and get some things done. Ended up at The Container Store yesterday and I picked up a new unit for the pantry. We had a nice over the door thing with slots on it, that the previous owners had put on, but it was cheap and kept banging when we opened the door. So I got a nice elfa system for it. I can't wait to install it!

New Years Eve was nice, I made a standing rib roast with a currant gravy, that was fabulous. After my mom and step dad left for their hotel, we went to a neighbors house for a party. Then I came home with the baby at 9:30, and the hubby and Celia stayed out til 12:30 (don't get me started on him keeping her out that late= I'm still really pissed about that). I just chilled out and watched some reruns of Friends on the Tivo, and went to bed after I realized they wouldn't be home before midnight. Anyway, it was fun. It was great to see my mom and step father, and spend some time with my brother and his wife today/yesterday. Now I"m ready to drop, and will do so shortly. Tonight Celia and I having a sleepover in the office/guest room. Some good, quality mommy/daughter time will be had! I can't wait.