Good bye Zoey

She's gone. Over the weekend, she threw up all over the house...which was a sign we were supposed to look for. This morning, I took her to the vet with the intention of having her put down. I had her checked out, the vomiting was either a sign of her advanced kidney disease, or of her being scared that we were gone for a few days (our neighbor came to feed/medicate her while were away playing). No way of knowing which. They offered to try a few things to see if they helped, and I asked about having her put down. They can't really push you in either direction, but they talked me through it, and said that if it was what I wanted than they'd support it. If I didn't have kids to worry about, I would have done whatever possible to keep her around. But with a 4 and a half year old who remembers everything, it made sense to let her go before she got really sick. I want Celia to have fond memories of Zoey. Not sad ones. And I didn't want to get to the point where Zoey was suffering.

I held pet her and kissed her head as they injected her. I watched her fall asleep for the last time. And then I spent about 10 minutes with her to say goodbye and be with her. And I cried the whole time. I cried the whole way home. And the whole way in the house to get to my other cat, Trinity. Who hissed at me. Typical Trin. At least she let me pet her a little while I cried some more. Now I feel like I'm all cried out, but I know that when I tell Celia that zoey is gone, that I'll be in tears again.

Talk about a shitty couple of weeks. Enough death, thank you very much.

Zoey Bidwell, March 20, 2002-August 25, 2008
We will miss you.