Happy Birthday Celia!!

Happy Birthday baby girl!! I can't believe you are 5 today! It feels like just yesterday that you came into our lives, and every moment has flown by. I wish you could stop growing up so fast, but am glad that you can't. It is so much fun to see you grow into the big girl that you are today! My little lady. My sweet girl. You are truly amazing!

You wow us every day. You love your gymnastics class, computer games, Super Mario Galaxy and Wii Sports, reading books, helping mommy cook and being a great big sister. I can't believe how big you are, and I can't wait to see where the next year takes us. I hope you still continue to enjoy our friday night sleep overs in the office, special shopping trips, walking to the stump with the hole, trips to the library, and starbucks hot chocolate. You are my baby girl, who is not a baby anymore. You're 5!!

Happy Birthday Celia, I love you!!

One.

Happy Birthday Sethy! I can't believe you are one years old today.

One year ago, I was sitting in triage, getting hooked up to monitors, waiting to see how you were doing, and whether you were going to be born. I was contracting away every few minutes. Not full labor contractions, but contractions none-the-less. I remember being scared. Because my own mother was in the hospital having a series of tests after a heart attack. Feeling helpless because I couldn't be there with her. But so excited because I knew that I'd be meeting you soon.

You have been such a good baby. Such an easy baby. Minus the asthma, of course. You're happy, and love to laugh, eat, sleep and play. You love to hug. You love to blow kisses (but always turn your head away when I go to kiss you). You love to point with your index finger ("ET, phone home"). You have a smile that melts my heart every single time. I cannot express the joy you have brought to my life this past year. And I look forward to the next years with excitement to see what comes next.

I love you Seth. Happy birthday!!

ups and downs

The ups:
The rats/mice/chipmunks that were getting into the walls are now officially BANNED! The Trapper came yesterday, and a full day later, and the labor of 2 men, the house is now rat-proof. Yes!!

I found Seth a new day care! It's right around the corner from us, no further than his other place, just in the opposite direction. Is way cheaper (like 135 cheaper per week), fewer kids, 2 fabulous teachers, in a home setting. And they were totally fine with the asthma, and offered to give him nebs when he needs them. Perfect!! OH- and thanks to Mamasource, the first 2 weeks are FREE.

The downs:
Celia is sick. She has a horrible cough, and when she coughs/sneezes, her throat hurts. So she gets to go to the Dr this morning. And likely stay home. Bah.
ETA: Celia has a cold. But nothing more. Since sh'es been pretty congested for about a week, and Seth has had a sinus infection, Dr D gave us a script for antibiotics. I'm to fill it if she's not better tomorrow. So she's at school, and I"m at work. Today. We'll see about tomorrow. I hate when my gut tells me to keep her home, but my fear of losing my job trumps that.


I'm getting nervous about my 2 appointments this week. Tomorrow is my baby's first birthday, and the first thing I get to do is see my OB/GYN- the man who delivered my little guy. Kind of fitting I guess. I'm curious to see what's going on down below. And see if I have an actual problem, or if the "atypical squamous cells" are due to the uti I had. Which the nurse said may be the case. I'm hoping it's not hpv...or something more. But if it is, I'll deal with it. I'm not looking forward to the urologist appt. But it will be nice to be able to finally put an end to the UTIs. At least for a while. Just not excited about the possibility of being scoped. OUCH.

More ups:
My baby turns 1 tomorrow!! Where has the time gone?

My baby girl turns 5 in a week and 1 day!! How did she get so big so fast??

I've managed to sell off a ton of my yarn to help pay for the repairs. Sad to see it go- some of it I had big plans for. BUT, when money is tight, there is nothing else to do. Thank goodness for Ravelry...lots of knitters went crazy on my for sale stash, and now I have some cash.

Seriously?!

I just got a call from my OB's office, saying they definitely want me to consult with a urologist. Apparently my culture had some crystals and sediment, which is a precursor of kidney stones. I hang up, and pull up the website for my insurance company to find the number for the person they recommended. I say something like "well at least that's all it is, and it's not my pap that was abnormal!". Out loud. To my husband.

Phone rings two seconds later- it's the nurse calling back, saying they need me to come in for another pap because it was abnormal. They need to check for hpv. Are you fucking kidding me?! So I get to go in again on Thursday morning. I've never had an abnormal pap before...so this is kind of freaking me out a bit.

Happy Valentines Day!

My mom left early this morning, so all is back to "normal". I have to say, I really loved having her here. There's just something about having my mom around that makes everything feel OK. She took great care of Seth, had some fun with Celia, and spent some quality time with me and Nathan. It was really great. I'll miss having her around! It was really a huge help having Seth well taken care of and being able to go to work without any worries. My step father even drove down yesterday to pick her up so she didn't have to fly home. I guess he was feeling a bit jipped because my mom got to spend all that time with the kids, and he was missing out. It was nice. Of course, we were supposed to go up there this weekend, but that got put on the back burner for now. Have to find time this spring to go up.

We've had a quiet Valentines day. I even got to take a 3 hour nap today! Talk about spoiled. We decided to not do anything "big" for the holiday (or for the kids birthdays or our anniversary in light of having to rodent-proof the house). So I made pasta for dinner, and we're going to just chill out and relax the rest of the evening. Celia had a "sweetheart dance" at school yesterday, so Nathan took her to that while I stayed with the baby. Since they got back and she was toast, our weekly "sleepover" got postponed til tonight. So tonight, we'll all have a sleepover in our bed. Sethy is in his room, of course. And we're in our room instead of the guest room because of the rats. They are really in the wall along the office (burrowing in under the siding at the fireplace). They are also in the corner of the wall in our room, but we'll have Nathan to protect us. :) She is such a cutie.

On the day care front, I've met with two in home places. Liked them both, and am trying to decide what to do. It would be nice to have an extra hundred dollars a week, that's for sure.

joy.

Well, the trapper came yesterday, and it's bad. Really bad. they're getting in by crawling up under the siding and chewing their way through in an area that isn't sealed properly- along the ENTIRE back of our house. So now we get to pay over 2K to have this fixed. Talk about bad timing.

SO, if you're a knitter, and looking to buy some yarn, I'm destashing my personal stash. I've listed a bunch of things on my knitting blog in hopes that I can make up some cash fast. Thankfully Ravelry has already helped, and I'm getting rid of a bit. Or check out my etsy shop if you want to see some of the yarn I've dyed.

Thanks...

rats.

Not mice, but likely rats. Or squirrels or chipmunks. We now have 3 or 4 different types of traps, and if they don't work, we get to call a trapper. Just great.

Seth and my mom had fun today. She cleaned and he watched. He was amazed at all the cleaning- not something he's used to seeing. But will be as we're going down to having our cleaning lady once a month instead of every other week.

Started looking into in home day care, and think I found a great place. Right around the corner, the house is SPOTLESS, and there is only ONE other baby there! Have to check out a few other places first, but looks promising.

Lastly, Seth is not sounding better. At all. In fact, he sounded a little better yesterday, but today is worse. Peachy. At least we see my favorite Dr. D tomorrow morning. Sigh.

Sigh of relief

My mom got in yesterday, her shuttle was in the driveway when I got home, and she was just getting out! Perfect timing. We had a nice dinner, fired up the grill and made burgers. Then I filled her in on Seth's routine, and showed her where his meds are and how to do the neb. And I got up this morning, ate breakfast and got to work, with no worries at all. I'm so glad she came to help out. It makes a huge difference.

And...she will be there today when the Terminix buy comes- because we have some furry critters in the walls that need to be taken out. AKA mice...or chipmunks...or other things I refuse to think about. Shudder.

I have the best mom.

Really, I do! My mom is just amazing.

The phone rang this morning at around 9 (believe it or not, just after we finished breakfast- banana pancakes and sausage). My mom had an idea. She has some time built up at work, and she was offering to fly down for a few days to help take care of Seth during the day, so N and I can both go into work. I never would have even thought of this as being an option, and here she was, offering it up. We hung up, and she asked me to think about it, talk it over with N, and call her back later.

I got some dyeing done, some for my yarn club, some for fun. Talked it over with the hubs, and we both decided that it was the perfect solution. She's willing to help us out, and with Seth still sounding horrible, and us not being able to send him to day care yet, it works perfectly. And now I won't be forced to send him back to day care on tuesday or wednesday before he's ready. He can be home all week, without giving it a second thought. I called my mom back, and accepted her generous offer. She's flying in tomorrow (N will stay home with Seth) and will leave on Saturday. She'll be such a huge help, I can't even explain it in words. I've been so nervous about having to tell my boss I'd be out a few more days this week. Now I don't have to be! I'm completely overwhelmed by her offer, and am so grateful that she's able to help us out like this. Especially now, with the economy being as it is, and the job market being even worse, if we were both to lose our jobs at the same time, we'd literally have to move back home, live in my mom or my inlaws house, and deal that way. Doesn't sound like fun. I wanted to move back there eventually, but not like that. Hopefully this will be Seth's last go of it for a while. Everything crossable is crossed.

On a selfish note, I'm excited to get to spend some extra quality time with my mom! And without having to drive up to B-lo. So instead of driving up north next weekend, we'll take it easy, let Seth rest up, and get some things done around the house. We've even made some progress in that department this weekend! N loaded up the back of my CR-V with stuff from the garage (torn out carpet and vinyl flooring, trash from when we did the bathroom, and loads of other random things), and took 2 trips to the dump. We got the kitchen a little better organized, emptied a few boxes of random crap/clutter that have been in the kitchen for months and months. Definitely nice.

roller coaster

I feel like I'm stuck on an amusement park ride and can't get off. Seth is sick again. Here's the low down:
The day of his surgery was perfect. He was fabulous! No fever, happy, little crankiness, it was awesome!
The next day, he was perfect in the morning, went to day care, and had a great day. After we put him in bed Wednesday night, he was coughing a bit. We had done some albuterol before he went down, because he was a bit congested and was coughing a little, but not badly. He woke himself up, coughing and a bit wheezy, but nothing bad. So we gave him more albuterol at that point, and he went back to bed. This was a good thing, because I was sick myself at this point. My cold had been lingering for weeks, and my throat was a mess. I went to my Doc a few hours after Seth's surgery on Tues and found out I had strep. So was very sick, and slept ALL day- from 9 until 3. The phone rang twice, I answered, and fell right back to sleep. That's how sick I was.
Thursday morning, he sounded pretty good, but we gave him albuterol anyways. It was off to day care, and off to work (and an OB/GYN appt for me, for my annual, and because I ended up with yet another UTI- seriously this is enough!!). I stayed at work til about 5, and headed home to get the kids. I walked into Seth's room, and they told me he'd been wheezing for the last few hours, but it hadn't gotten bad until about 20 minutes before. I grabbed him, grabbed his sister, and got home to do his albuterol treatment ASAP. It didn't help, and at that point, he was hot. I took his temp, and it was 102.5, so I started to freak a bit. They had said after the surgery if he starts wheezing a lot or gets a fever over 102, or a bunch of other symptoms, to call them or take him to the ER. Given his history, I called his pulmonologists office (Dr R), and called the cell number on there. Thankfully it is a small office, so I spoke to the doc after 2 rings, and he suggested I take him to the ER. Apparently after anesthesia, pneumonia can be a concern. So it was off to the ER for us. 5 hours later, we got home, after ruling out pneumonia, RSV, Flu and Strep. Thankfully we had his follow-up scheduled with Dr R on Friday anyways, so timing couldn't have been better.
Friday morning, I stopped by work to grab my laptop and take care of one thing I had to do for that morning, and then we went to see Dr. R. The nurse was pleased his pulse-ox was so good, considering how he sounded. The doc put him on ora.pred again, because he sounded a bit wheezy and rough even an hour and a half after his neb treatment. And said to call him Monday if he wasn't significantly better.

Through all this, I'm terrified about my job. It has been made known that my working from home so much isn't a good thing. Especially when I haven't been as productive as I usually am. But honestly, when you've got a kid who is sick, screaming when you put him down, and just miserable, what else are you supposed to do?? It's exhausting, stressful, and I spend most of my days worried about him and his breathing. I'm doing the best I can to make progress on a few projects, and realize that in the last few months, I haven't been doing as much as I should be. I'm trying to change that. I've got a system set up for when I'm at home. I have lists, and calendars, and time tables for what I'm doing when, and make sure I have things I can do in 15-30 minute slots, so I don't start something big if I only have a little time. I have NO family here to help. My husband can help sometimes, but not all the time. He tries. But his job is in jeapordy too- especially when they'll likely be out of business this spring. Unless something major happens. So he needs to be present too. And I'm the mom. I worry! If my kid is sick, wheezing non-stop, feverish, and irritable, if I'm not there, I can't focus on anything but him. That is my issue, but it's still there. My kids are my priority, and that is just how it is. I think what upset me the most was getting an e-mail yesterday, as I'm sitting in the waiting room for Dr R, saying that I need to get more done before it effects my performance. That I need to be careful. What the hell am I supposed to do the day after my son has been in the ER?! There was NO way I could take him to day care after having a higher fever like that. And with his breathing so bad, there was no way they'd even take him if I tried. That is neglectful. I'm really at a loss for what to do. The surgery was PLANNED. I took the day off for that. The day after was up in the air anyways, depending on how the surgery went. I did not plan to get strep throat and feel so crappy. I didn't plan that at all. I still went in the next day, even though I had a nasty UTI, and felt like dying still. I was there. And I got a crapload done. I was home yesterday, and the baby was so sick, he slept from 11 til 3:45, and I was able to work basically from 10:30 til 4:30. My husband had come home 2 hours early so I could at least get a little work done in the afternoon. I got more done last night. I'll do more today. What else can I do?? I was aware of the problem after I came home from Miami. I have done all I can to fix it. It's not like I"m having fun being at home, and having a sick kid. I hate having to pump him full of drugs and steroids and antibiotics all the time. He's misreable. It's exhausting. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. And now I'm afraid of losing my job because of this. I've been there for 6 and a half years. Almost 7 years. And during most of that time my performance and productivity have been high (or at least my supervisors have all been happy with me, and my work). After a few months of dealing with a sick kid and being sick myself several times, yes- I admit that my productivity has been lower. How could it not be? But does a few months of lower quantity wipe out 6 plus years of high? I just don't know what to do here. The stress of this is overwhelming, and I still have my son to take care of. Not cool.

super fast!

I can't believe how fast the surgery went!! I was able to go back while they put him out, since he was only 2 weeks away from the 1 year mark where they usually let a parent back. I insisted, and they gave me no trouble with it. I held his hands and told him to be brave, and that he was going to take a little nappy, and that I'd see him in a bit. He was out cold, and I went back to the pre-op room, where we collected our stuff and went to the waiting room. I had a minute to drink a few sips of coffee, update my twitter and facebook, and then the doc came out! I first thought it was to say hi before the procedure, but it was because she was already done. I barely played two levels of my brick breaking game on my black berry. So we sat tight for 5 more minutes, while they woke our little prince up, and got to go back pretty much right away. He was MAD. But doing pretty well. He woke up pretty fast and was alert and trying to jump out of my lap in no time. After some juice and getting him calm, we were discharged. We got home by 9...which is funny because some mornings I'm just barely out the door at 9. He did great. The doc said she got "a lot, a lot of fluid" out of his ears, and that she gave him a refill on the antibiotic drops in case he's still draining after the first batch is gone. She expects him to be because of all the fluid in there.

I am so glad we did this. It was so easy on him, probably harder on me than it was on him. He's sleeping in his room right now, and I'm here resting because, of course, I barely slept last night. Let's just hope it helps him stay healthy from here on out!

ETA: He just took a two hour nap, and woke up SO happy!! I changed his diaper without him screaming or crying. Knowing how much fluid was in his ears, I wonder if it hurt or was pressure when laying down. That could make a lot of sense... I'm curious to see how the next few diapers go. He ALWAYS cried when changing his diaper. And he just laughed and smiled through the whole thing. Hmm...

firsts

Seth has been busy growing up lately! He's getting so big. At his doctors appt last week (to clear him for surgery) he weighed in at 22 pounds!! My little guy is growing up.

He has his surgery tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous about it, but am sure he'll be fine. Just another thing to do. At least it is early and he should be home by noon. Not going to be fun though. I just want him to not need the surgery at all. It's an in and out procedure, that only lasts about 10-15 minutes. He does get put to sleep, which I don't like. Hopefully it will be over before we know it, and he won't have any bad reactions to the anesthesia. Fingers are crossed!! I also hope that it helps him stay healthy. My boss has been so patient letting me work from home when I've needed to...but I have a feeling her patience is running out. It's not fair to everyone else that I'm working from home so much, and I haven't been nearly as productive as I should be. Hoping that he's over the hump and he'll be healthy from here on out.

He's just about ready to take his first steps too! He keeps thinking about it, but he isn't quite there yet. He lets go with one hand, then the other. And really thinks about it. It's very cute.

I also had my first trip away from the baby! I left on Saturday morning, the 24th, and came back at 2am on Tuesday the 27th. I got to go to Miami for my Aunt Debbie's memorial service, and it was absolutely incredible. I got to spend lots of time with my cousins, the rest of my dad's family. Just a few of us cousins made the trip, but it was SO much fun! I did get some good insight from my cousin who has 5 kids, all of whom have had ear tubes and breathing issues. We went out both nights I was there, until 2am, drank like crazy (but not too much), and just had a blast. It was awesome.

So lots of firsts. And Seth has 6 teeth now (four on top, two on the bottom). And I am working towards getting Celia enrolled in Kindergarten. I called the elementary school today (love that it's literally in our back yard) and have her name down and we'll be getting paperwork soon. Just crazy!!