phasing out

So, the whole nursing thing is still not working. I've tried, and tried, and am admitting defeat. I'm not thrilled with it, but I think that right now my mental health is way more important than forcing the issue. Seth is 7 weeks old today, and he's been getting breastmilk since day 2, so It's better than nothing. I've been working on drying up my supply, and I'm doing quite well with that. At least it's something that's going right in that department! I started off pumping every 6 hours, instead of 4-5, for about 2 days. Then I upped the space to 7-8 hours, then 9-10 hours, and now I'm at 13-14 hours between pumping sessions. And I only get an ounce and half or two ounces out when I pump now, which is huge since I was producing about an ounce an hour before.

It wasn't easy to decide to stop pumping. Technically I could keep it up or as long as my supply lasts. But it hurts! And it takes SO much time. And it makes it so I don't get much sleep at night. And it hurts! I know how beneficial it is for babies to have breastmilk. I had always planned on doing it for the first year (with some supplementation, but at least partially for a year). With Celia, she weaned herself by the time she was 5 months old. With Seth, he still refuses to latch on, and the pumping is killing me. And the trying to get him latched and having him refuse me is not easy on me either. So, I'm done. That's it. He'll be getting formula pretty much exculsively from now on. I still have 4 bottles worth in the freezer, and I'll give him one a day for the next few days, and that will be it. I hate to stop, and I wish he'd get it. But it's really taking it's toll on me, and as I learned with my daughter, a happier mom makes a better mom, and a happier kid.