San Francisco

Was a blast! We ate ice cream at Ghiradelli, bought loads of chocolate, went to a cool wine bar (I did do a flight, but it was all Cab sauv., and the kind of tasting that costs $25, and the cheapest bottle we tried was $75), rode the cable cars, and had the best pizza I'd had in a long time. It was unbelievable. That was just the first day. The second day was breakfast at a pastry shop, and then a culinary tour of Little Italy and North beach. Amazing food, coffee, and lots of walking. However, it was not exactly the best idea. I got completely overheated, exhausted, and felt like I was going to pass out for a minute. Thankfully some fresh air helped (we were in the back of a deli where it was HOT). After that, we went shopping in Chinatown, and relaxed for a while before a dinner of Tapas. Gotta love being in a city.

It was really great to get home though. Apparently I missed an earthquake by about 8 and a half hours. Yikes! Thankfully it was a mild one, but it's still scary. It was so good to get home last night. I really missed Nathan and Celia. She was in bed when I got home, but I still got to kiss her goodnight. The sucky thing is that she's sick. Nasty cough and managed to get an infection in her chest, so she's on antibiotics. The cough is horrible, and not getting any better, especially at night. Poor thing was having a coughing fit that lasted about 20 minutes in the middle of the night. Hopefully it gets better quickly, now that she's been on the antibiotics for a few days. So good to see her today- the hug she gave me was the longest, biggest, strongest hug I've had from her, and it just made my whole day.

brain overload

I never did find my ipod cord, but at least they had TVs on the plane, and music as well. So that really helped make the flight go by fast. The conference is nearly over, just a few talks left. I snuck out to finish packing, since I have a shuttle coming right after it's over. And, then I head to San Francisco for 2 days. Really a day and a half, but it's still going to be great! Somewhere I've always wanted to go, and now I get to!

Not much going on. Just really exhausted. I finally slept well last night, just in time to move on to another hotel. But at least I did sleep. Though, I could really go for a nap right now. My brain is so overloaded with information, it feels like it's going to blow up.

I really miss my girl. I've talked to her a few times a day, and she's having fun with her daddy, but I still really miss her. Leaving the husband isn't so bad, in fact it's kind of nice to get a break once in a while (no offence honey!). But leaving her is really hard. Hopefully this is the last time for a long time.

not coping today!

So I'm packing for my trip. I have a shuttle coming to get me at 5am, which is crazy, but it's an 8am flight. I can't find my ipod cable anywhere. I have the plug, and the ipod and headphones. But the cable? Gone. No where to be seen. And I have a 5 and a half hour flight tomorrow. Not happy!

cooking is like therapy.

Yesterday, I had to run to the mall to get some clothes that I can actually wear at a professional conference and not be embarassed. I was looking for the typical mall maternity store, so I woulsn't spend too much on stuff I really wouldn't wear more than twice. So, I was thinking I had to drive down to Montgomery mall, which is a great mall, and it isn't too far out of the way. Just a bit further than my "local" mall. I had completely blocked out that there is a Motherhood at Lakeforest mall. It is right next to where I used to get my hair done before they moved. I bought clothes there when I was pregnant with Celia. Yet here I was, completely shocked when I saw on the store locator that there was one in that mall. And then I couldn't for the life of me remember where in the mall it is! Seriously, brainless!

Anyways, I got the stuff I needed and then some, and then we went over to Whole Foods for some groceries. Immediately I had to have cheddar/beer fondue and chocolate fondue. I've been craving fondue again, but haven't had energy to get a sitter and go out. Or go out during the week (I have a coupon for $15 off the big night out during the week at Melting Pot). So I made beer/cheddar fondue, and it was great- though it solidified pretty fast. Next time I'll measure better. I also bought some really good milk chocolate, and made milk chocolate/peanut butter fondue. It was amazing! We ate a huge amount of it, and there's still half in the fridge for tonight. Yummy!!! I had nearly 2 whole bananas and 10 strawberries myself. SO good! And while I was there, I got a standing rib roast, so I a making that tonight. With a currant gravy. It's going to be SO good!! I can't wait. This weekend and last were filled with cooking, and it was great! Too bad my back doesn't like being upright like that for long periods.

Today, is nice and relaxing. I ran to target and Safeway, got home and had lunch, and then am now relaxing more while Nathan is in the guest room peeling off the rest of the border. The lady we bought the house from LOVED borders, and I hate them. Seriously HATE them. I've never met a border I liked. Though there was a cool idea of using wine labels as wallpaper on an episode of Trading Spaces once that was cool... But I digress! I pulled the border down months ago, and of course, it left the backing and glue on the wall. I'm not in a good position to be up on a ladder scraping, so Nathan offered to work on it a bit more today. So that's what he's doing, and I can't wait for it to be gone! We really need to paint that room (it's NASTY filthy) before the baby comes. I have had the paint for months, so if he does that this weekend, maybe in a few weeks I'll get the energy to help paint it. I love painting rooms! It makes me ahppy seeing a new color cover up the filth.

And I need to pack. I can't believe I'm going to California in just 4 days! I can't wait!!

OH, and Karaoke Diva mentioned that she was renting a doppler so she could listen to baby's heartbeat. At first I thought it was cool, but not something I'd do. Until I saw Celia's reaction at the Ultrasound a few weeks back. Seeing and hearing the heartbeat was just amazing to her. So, I ordered one last week, and it arrived 2 days later. I now am the proud renter of a Baby Beat doppler for the next few months. I told Celia what it was, and she's been so excited to hear it. We let her listen on friday, and she didn't want me to turn it off. It was really cute. She really loved it. I'm glad I went ahead and did it. Not just for my peace of mind, but to help include Celia in the whole thing.

please stop!

Ok, now my head is spinning. I have been working on my poster all day, and it's taking forever. I have a pretty good layout, and need to generate 2 figures and a table tomorrow. I still find it ironic, that the one thing I hate in this world are insects. And what am I working on? Insects! At least they are just mosquitos and ticks.

Now my head hurts...and I'm only about 3/4 of the way done. ;(

busy!

Next thursday, I fly out to San Jose for a conference. I'm excited to get away for a few days, but I'm also crazy busy trying to get my poster presentation finished before I go. So I'm staying home today to crank it out and get it done with. I hope! I'm really looking forward to this trip for 2 reasons. First, I'm going without my family, which means I'll get some me time. I'll get to spend the flight watching the TV they provide, knitting, and sleeping. Without babysitting a 3 and a half year old who hates sitting still on flights. Secondly, I'm flying in and out of San Francisco. And my flight home is 2 days after the conference is over! So, I will be heading up to San Francisco the day the conference ends, and spending time exploring, shopping, and eating. And, my supervisor is going to join me for the majority of it (which is a good thing!). I had debated initially long and hard on whether to spend some extra time there, and I'm glad I finally decided to do just that. I have never been to California, so I'm really looking forward to going. The only bummer (which I got over really quickly) is that I'll be SO close to Napa and can't go. I'll just have to save that for another time when I can go with Nathan. ;)

Yesterday.

Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberence Day. First I want to say that I was thinking of all of you who have had a pregnancy or infant loss. You were all in my thoughts yesterday. It wasn't until I was in bed last night, that I realized that I myself lost a baby a few months ago. I don't know why, but I didn't think of it like that. But after reading everyone's entries yesterday, it really hit home. While twins wasn't an ideal situation for us, I was excited about them. While I only had 1 week knowing that there were 2 growing inside me, it was still 1 week that I was having 2 babies. I was attatched to them both. When we found out that one wasn't viable, I was devistated. My husband's relief completely took over, and I just ignored the fact that I was sad. Until last night. I think I also feel guilty being sad, when I'm so lucky to have one daughter, and one healthy baby growing inside me. Like it was greedy of me to want them both to be OK. Anyway, I thought about it a lot last night, and I then went to sleep thinking about the baby who didn't make it. I hope that he or she knows that I did love him/her, and I always will. Even if I was afraid to recognize that before.

Nothing says Fall...

Like beef stew and apple pie! So, today- I made an apple pie, and the stew is on the stove bubbling away. It smells SO good in here!! I'm so exhausted, and it's nice to be productive, and be able to relax and enjoy the smells of my labor. I can't wait to eat dinner!

We had planned on going apple picking this weekend, but it looks like we missed it! We went to the local farm website to see what kinds of apples they have, and they're done. It's now all about pumpkins. So, instead, at the grocery store this morning, we grabbed some apples. And I was pleasantly surprised, because they had a bushell of Empire apples! My favorite apples are all NYS apples. They're the best. Most flavor, crisp, sweet, but tart, and just perfect. Cortland, Empire and MacIntosh are my absolute favorites. And last week, they had Cortlands. This week, it was Empires! So, my pie has Empires and a few Granny Smiths. I'm so excited to have it! I wasn't too upset about the apple picking, because I can never get my favorite ones off the trees anyways. This was way better. And with luck, this will be my last year without an abundant supply of my NYS apples. I hope!

Friday was amazing. I got loads of stuff, but actually came home with cash in my pocket. Not just change either...$50 left! I was so proud. It even allowed me to take Nathan and Celia to Fuddruckers for dinner (I totally forgot there was one in Gaithersburg, and it was SO good and SO cheap. Definitely going there again soon!!

Well, I'm off to stir my stew! I'm so glad fall is here! My down comforter went on the bed last night, and I slept SO well!

One of my favorite days of the year!

Today, I'm taking off work, and going to Stitches East! It's a huge knitting and stitching show, and I get to go today! I'm not taking any classes, but will be spending the day shopping at the market. Aah, the market. All the yarn, pretty colors, textures... makes me SO happy!! I'm going to try not to spend too much. Notice I said try?

I've been debating.

Over the weekend, I had a conversation with one of my best friends, and I've been mulling it over a bit. She just got married in June (I was matron of honor), just after my transfer- who knows- her big day could have been the big day that baby A and baby B implanted. Anyways. She and her husband started trying for a baby last month. I knew this was coming, so I wasn't the least bit surprised. I half expected her to make an announcement the second I saw her...but in fact, that was not the case. Apparently, they tried, and she was 8 days late. She had taken several HPTs, but they were all negative, so she went for the bloodtest anyways. Completely expecting to hear a "you're pregnant". And when they didn't, she was devistated. Now, apparently, her mom never actually tested positive on a HPT. And she's had 5 pregnancies. But never did she have a positive HPT. So my friend wasn't at all surprised to have a negative HPT, but still was convinced she was pregnant. Anyways, when they found out that she was not pregnant, she and her husband were completely shocked and devistated. Now...here is my question for you all- Have you ever heard of getting negatives when you're actually pregnant? Not just one, but all the time? I thought there had been so many advances with HPTs in the last 20 years, that it wasn't an issue anymore.

Anyway, something else she mentioned, was that her brother and SIL were trying. For a year, and then they got tested, and are undergoing IUIs at the moment. Trying to figure out how to afford IVF, which isn't covered. Anyway, I told her to forward my e-mail to her SIL if she wanted to talk. Don't know if she'll actually e-mail me or not.

Here's where I'm a horrible person. While I don't wish Infertility on anyone, I was a little relieved that my friend didn't get pregnant on the first try. Hopefully it will happen over the next month or two.

Shopping anyone?

Our fearless leader Mel has come up with yet another brilliant idea! She's coming up with a list of people who have stores, and either use their proceeds to help pay the high costs of Infertility treatments, or donate it to help others in their quest to become parents. I am one of these sellers! My shop contains mostly handpainted yarns named after characters and places from the Harry Potter books, as well as stitchmarkers and some other jewelry from time to time. And coming soon, will be a new colorway, inspired by the Pomegranite Infertility's common thread, which I'll be donating 20% of the proceeds to others going through infertility treatments. I'll also be offering a 10% discount to all who find my shop through the mom or pop shop. Thanks for organizing this Mel!!

IFSucks Knit-A-long

I'm really excited about this! Starfish is hosting a Knit A Long for us! It's called the Infertility Sucks Scarf-A-Long, and there are 4 different scarf patterns to choose from. I'm not entirely sure which pattern I'll knit, but I have it narrowed down to 2. I can't wait to go stash-diving for some yarn for this! Or, maybe I'll pick something fabulous up at Stitches East in Baltimore on Friday.

Thanks for organizing this Starfish!!

We're having...

an it! As expected, my little darling decided not to cooperate today. Legs were closed tight together, and weren't budging. Same thing that happened with Celia. The woman doing the US said at first that she thought it was likely a girl, because she wasn't seeing anything that could resemble a penis. And just then, in a flash, there was "something" that could possibly be one, but she really had no idea. It happened really fast. I saw what she was talking about, and then woosh- it was gone. So we have no clue. Could be a girl, could be a boy.

Everything else is really good. The only slight problem is that my fluid is a bit low. So I need to up the protein and water intake a lot to make up for it. That should help. Plus it made a few other organs harder to see, so I get to go back in 6 weeks for another one. Plus they want me to see a cardiologist the same day to do an echo on the baby. Apparently my increased sugars can put some stress on the baby, and lead to some issues there, but it's really just a percaution. Everything should be fine. Yay!! So cool to see everything- the spine, the ribs, the brain, heart and chambers beating, arms, legs, lips... Just amazing. And we did end up bringing Celia with us. Nathan held her the whole time and let her watch the screen during the whole thing. She was amazed. When it was over and I got to sit up, she ran to me and exclaimed how she had seen "my baby's heart!". It was really sweet. I showed her the 2 pics, and pointed out the eyes and nose on the first, and the profile- head and chest of the second. She took it to Nathan and explained the pictures to him. She was so excited, I'm really glad we brought her. Next appointment is the day before Thanksgiving. Which means we'll hop in the car immediately after, and head up to Buffalo for the holiday.

I'm so excited, and definitely curious to see what this child ends up being. Hmm...

Fun weekend.

I'm still very angry that Nathan ended up not coming with us this weekend. But thankfully, it turned out to be fun anyways. We got to my Rachel's place around 11:30, and relaxed a bit. After lunch (yay Panera!), we relaxed a bit more. I prepped my sweet potatoes for the candied yams I'm making today (best in the world!!), and even got to take a nap. It's one of the nice things about seeing friends I don't see very often. They really didn't mind that I was tired and told me to go lay down and they'd watch Celia. In fact, I think they even had some fun. We went over to the Walk after dinner, and had a nice time. It was a bit over 2 miles, and I'm really tired today. But for some reason, I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday. Not sure if all that walking helped stretch things out a bit, or if it's just getting better anyways. Thankfully I'm not as sore today as I thought I'd be. And Celia actually sat in her stroller the entire time...which is a miracle. She hates being in her stroller.

Of course, she woke up at 5:50, so I've been up for a bit, but at least I get to relax today. We may head out and do some shopping while the turkey is cooking. Canadian Thanksgiving is actually tomorrow, but we're celebrating today since everyone has to travel tomorrow. It's a tradition that Rachel started back in Buffalo (since it's so close to Canada, some things we do twice. ;) This way we get to spend Canadian Thanksgiving with our friends, and the American Thanksgiving with our families. And we get to have turkey and all the sides twice! Yeah!

I'm definitely more positive today. I still with Nathan was here to have fun too, but I am having fun without him. And Celia is being surprisingly good, which is really helping. I am not looking forward to driving back tonight, but I have my ultrasound at 8am. Just 24 hours until we find out the sex!! Provided baby cooperates, of course!

a bad day.

Apparently I'm having a very bad day. Last night I went over to a friend's house and had some fun beading and chatting. Got home around 10, and I got into bed, but couldn't sleep. Feel free to skip this post...it's a big venting session. And I'm being completely stupid and irrational.

Here's the problem.

Nathan is going camping with his dad and brothers-in-law this weekend. Leaving today and coming back Sunday. Not normally a problem. But it is because he was SUPPOSED to go to the Light the Night walk and to our friends house with me. I had told him this way back in July when I found out about it. He knew about it. I told him about it at least twice, and forwarded my friend's e-mails about it. Then comes later in August, when he and his dad are finding a weeknd for their camping trip. They have 2 choices...but only one works for the other BIL. I'm obviously pregnant, and scatterbrained, and worried about spotting and things...and when he asks me if we have anything planned, I say no. Stupid. completely stupid. Now comes a week later, when I realize the mistake...but he refuses to call his dad and see about changing the trip. Fine. So I'll just take Celia with me, stay at my friend's house (instead of a hotel, which would have been more of a mini-vacation), and take Celia to the walk. Not a big deal, right? Wrong! All week I've been extremely angry with Nathan for not trying to change the date once he knew there was a big conflict. And now I'm really angry that he's going. I know I'm being completely selfish, but with everything else going on, with his job, my job (so crazy busy that I don't have a second to stop and breathe), the baby, the pain I've been having, head aches, and exhaustion, I'm feeling like I"m losing it. I need his help this weekend. Granted I'll have friends there, but they'll only be so much help. I can't exactly go take a 3 hour nap before the walk because I'm exhausted. I have to do all the driving there and back. And I'm tired and feel like crap on top of it all. Plus Celia has had some issues lately with listening. She just looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language when I try to tlak to her and get her to do things. It's making me crazy!! I just wish he wasn't going. He KNEW that I needed his help for this particular weekend, and he refused to ask about changing it, even way back when there was plenty of time to do it.

Here's where I'm really upset. His priorities are completely fucked up. Seriously. His parents come first, followed by his job. Then Celia and I come in somewhere around 3rd or so. Maybe. He never says no to his parents. I'm sure there's been a time or two, but rarely. I'm going in for a C-section with Celia. It's made clear that we don't want them here until at least a week later. THEY FUCKING SHOW UP THAT DAY!!! Without any more warning than a phone call saying they're on the way. And then his lovely mother has the nerve to yell at me (less than 48 hours after said C-section) about not christening Celia. Hello- I'm Jewish!! I may not be practicing, but that's still never going to happen. So help me if they show up this time- I'm not allowing them in the room. Security will be called. I know it sounds extreme, but I don't want the extra stress. Last year, around this time, my mom and stepdad came for a visit. His parents were also coming to visit the same weekend because it was the same weekend as teh marathon. He never told me. Or he says that he did, like a year earlier- a lot of good thats' going to do. So he says his parents are staying with us. I ask him to please get them to stay at a hotel, because it was going to be too much with my mom and stepdad here too. That way we could coordinate things betteer without having to do everything as a group (I seriously hate group activities). He says they won't be a problem, and that he doesn't want to ask them to stay in a hotel. So they stay. And yet another bad weekend happens when it's crappy weather out and I'm stuck in Reston waiting for the marathon to end. With a kid who's miserable. They told me that if it got cold/windy/I wanted to go, that I could. But every time I grabbed Nathan and said -let's go, he refused. His dad was almost done...and over 2 hours later, I'm finally sitting on the metro, fuming. Last time I get roped into anything. Now this, where he won't ask his dad about changing things. It's a freaking camping trip, not brain surgery! It's like he's afraid to ask his parents for anything. I'm just so frustrated! Then there's the whole life insurance thing (which he still hasn't taken care of!!!). When he's like this, I really dislike him.
So he's on his way camping right now, and part of me is so glad that I don't have to look at him for a few days. I know a big part of this is completely irrational, but I'm pregnant and hormonal, so I have that right to be irrational. I'm really sore and I hurt (any time I move, get up, shift, sit, roll over), I feel like crap, and I have no idea how I'm going to manage this weekend without him there as backup.

Vent over...sorry for just laying it all out there. I just really needed to. I love my husband, but some things really make me nuts.

happy!

I just love ob appointments! I get to see my favorite doc, and hear the heartbeat, all at the same time! I talked with him about the "pain" I've been having, and he said that it's most likely stretching of the ligaments, which I had figured out. But that it may be a bit worse because of the fact that I had a C-section before, and there may be some scar tissue in there. No great shock, but I don't know why I didn't think of that! As for the shortness of breath, it's probably my getting anemic again. Apparently at my first appointment, my counts were all normal, but it's definitely possible that I'm anemic now. So if it gets any worse, we'll check it out and start me on supplements again if I need them. I'd like to prolong this as long as possible, because the Iron supplements make me constipated. Blech.

Took him a minute to find the heartbeat though, but since I feel baby moving a lot, I wasn't at all worried. And the second I heard that wonderful woosh, I was just rediculously happy! I love that sound!! One of these days I'll have to bring Celia in with me, so she can hear it. Or maybe I'll take her to an ultrasound. I thought about taking her to the one this Monday, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe next time.

Thankfully the discomfort has gotten better overnight. I sat my butt on the sofa after dinner, popped in the second disk of season 1 of Grey's Anatomy, and watched it (and the first 2 episodes of season 2 disk 1. I'll be though it at no time at this rate! I'm trying to stretch it out, but I really want to know what happens!! However, this show does make me cry. A LOT. Tuesday night I was watching one of the season 1 episodes where a little girl who is about 2 and a half is having some seizures, and it turns out half of her brain needs to be removed. And of course, the anesthesiologist is a bit drunk and falls asleep during the surgery. They show the little girl starting to wake up in the middle of surgery, and I just LOST it. Completely hysterical. I just want to keep Celia safe and sound, and I know it's completely unrelated, but it just really upset me. Needless to say I was a bit clingy with her yesterday. At any rate, I hope the ligaments settle down by saturday, so I can do my walk without hurting too much. Thankfully I'm doing it with a group of friends, so I'm sure I can pass the stroller onto someone else if I need to.

3 more days!!

Thank you so much to those of you who have donated to my Light The Night walk. I really appreciate it, and between you and family members, I have more than doubled my initial goal!! You rock!!

Here's your last chance to donate!! I have a total of 4 prizes, 2 skeins of yarn, in winner's choice of colorways, and 2 sets of stitch markers, again in winners choice of colors. If you donate before 6pm on Saturday, October 6th, you'll get your name in the drawing!!

Thanks again everyone!!

ouch.

When I was pregnant with Celia, I didn't have too much pain or discomfort until later on. This time, man am I sore!! I never really got what round ligament pain was until now. Or maybe I just blocked it out last time. Now, every time I stand up, walk around, or roll over, I get a nasty pain. And it moves on me too! It's just not comfortable at all. It feels almost as though part of me wants to just fall off every time I stand up. It's such an odd sensation.

Tomorrow is my next OB appt. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat again. And make sure all is really well. Off to find lunch! Darn refridgerator is still empty- never got around to grocery shopping last weekend. Oops!

Happiness Challenge #1

I decided to start 2 days early on this, because- why not?!
Thurs. Aug 30th: Some mommy-daughter time. My daughter has been asking me to paint her nails for a week, and I took time last night to do it for her. Then, she begged me to let her try to paint my nails. So I let her. She did an OK job, and today I'm walking around with slightly messy light purple fingernails. I did my toes myself (while I still can reach that far), in the same fun color. Overall, she did pretty well- my nails all have polish, and aren't too messy. The bad part is that she got a lot of the skin around the nails, but I cleaned as much as I could up. It just looks like I was drunk when I did them, and the smile on her face, and look of concentration, and the way she licks her lips when she's really focusing made it all worth it.
Aug 1-7: Well, this week didn't go as planned. My SIL came to visit, so Celia's and my breakfast ended up being a family affair, which was actually much better. Celia loves having someone else to sit next to other than me and her daddy. My walking didn't really happen this week either. Unfortunately it was too hot, or busy at work and I couldn't get away. However, I did go to Starbucks a few times and grab coffee...so I consider that my "me" time for the week.
Aug 8-14: This weekend, I went to take Celia to IHOP for pancakes, and before we got there, she said she had to go poop. So we get there, run straight for the bathroom, where she sat for a half hour. I finally convinced her that we'd just go home, and as we were washing our hands, she suddenly looked a bit green. So we rushed for the potty, and she threw up. Home we went, and had to cancel our slot at the library, and a birthday party she had been invited to. Poor kiddo. The next day, we did go shopping, and had a pretzle together at the mall. She liked that a lot. Again with the walking... It just didn't happen! Work has been a bit crazy, and Starbucks was my only break.
Aug 15-21: My mom came to visit this weekend! Celia had a blast, and even got a new bed (my old bed). We did sneak in a bit of time when I was dyeing on Sunday. She came in and dyed her own skein of yarn! I was so proud, and she really had fun. Walking this week- didn't happen at all. We had a course going on that I was teaching at, so I really had NO time to do anything but teach and work. Blech.
Aug. 22-28: Nathan took Celia camping, so instead of "mommy and me" time, there was much "me" time to be had. I relaxed, and dyed, and had a massage, it was perfect. I actually walked three times this week! I was proud of myself for that. And Celia had so much fun camping, that she can't wait to go again.
Aug 29-30: This weekend was filled with birthday parties. I did take her to gymnastics, which gave us a bit of time. I love watching her, she really does love it. And she's really good at it too!


So for my first happiness challenge, I did ok. I wouldn't call it a complete success, but it was pretty good overall. Celia and I had a bit of special time, which I plan to continue. And I did a few things for myself, which I also plan to continue. I hope!!

ok...

So where did September go??? Really?? I have no idea! It flew by so fast, and it's just impossible for me to believe that it's October 1st.

We had an interesting weekend. Most of it was a lot of fun (2 birthday parties), but there was a bit of stress too. I just can't escape the stress! So Friday I got home from my little craft show, and Nathan and Celia were just sitting down to dinner. I sat down with my Chicken McNuggets, and joined them. After a few minutes, Nathan starts telling me about a meeting he had that day. Apparently, things have been wierd for a while. We knew that HUD wasn't happy with their operation, and that they are trying to get rid of what they do. They have apparently reviewed things, and are supposed to make a formal statement this week, basically making what they do illegal. Not such a good thing. The good thing, is that they have lawyers ready to jump the second the formal statement comes out, and hopefully things will be stuck in the courts for a long time. But if not, and things do not go well, he'll be out of a job come January. Now, we were planning on moving in the fall, to space things out a bit (for his comfort, not mine). So...we talked, and came to the conclusion that if this does happen, and he is out of a job before the fall, that we'll just move whenever that happens. Then of course, I start looking around the house, thinking..."if we had to list the house fast, could we?". And of course, the answer is a big, fat NO!!! We have clutter, things to repair, and many things to clean up and organize before we can even consider listing the house. So yesterday was partly spent with me going through the office and going crazy trying to clean up some of the junk. Thankfully Nathan took the hint and started in the bedroom. Which was good- kept him busy, yet out of my way.

Then I start thinking of things that I really don't need to think about. IF we do move in Jan, (which really probably wont' happen), I'd need to find a new OB. And make sure insurance would cover everything. And find a house. And pack up a house while pregnant. The thought is so overwhelming, it kind of freaked me out. And during all this? Nathan is as calm as can be. He isn't even worried, or stressed, or freaking out in any way. He says that it's because his company is so optimistic that things will end up in the courts for quite a while that it won't affect us. I wish I could be that optimistic.