Yesterday.

Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberence Day. First I want to say that I was thinking of all of you who have had a pregnancy or infant loss. You were all in my thoughts yesterday. It wasn't until I was in bed last night, that I realized that I myself lost a baby a few months ago. I don't know why, but I didn't think of it like that. But after reading everyone's entries yesterday, it really hit home. While twins wasn't an ideal situation for us, I was excited about them. While I only had 1 week knowing that there were 2 growing inside me, it was still 1 week that I was having 2 babies. I was attatched to them both. When we found out that one wasn't viable, I was devistated. My husband's relief completely took over, and I just ignored the fact that I was sad. Until last night. I think I also feel guilty being sad, when I'm so lucky to have one daughter, and one healthy baby growing inside me. Like it was greedy of me to want them both to be OK. Anyway, I thought about it a lot last night, and I then went to sleep thinking about the baby who didn't make it. I hope that he or she knows that I did love him/her, and I always will. Even if I was afraid to recognize that before.