My contribution.

Here's my contribution to the IF community. I have an etsy shop, where I sell handpainted yarn. I've come up with a special colorway, called Pomegranite, to represent Infertility's Common Thread. I've got 2 weights of yarn, Fingering weight (perfect for socks, or a lightweight scarf, OR worsted weight, which would make an amazing hat, scarf, or gloves, or anything else you can think of! Between now and December 31st, 2007, I will be donating $5 of the procedes of this Pomegranite yarn to a IF/adoption blogger who could use some extra cash to help through treatments/adoption!! I will also be donating 10% of the procedes from all other yarn sales from my site to the same blogger! Who will it be? Well, if you comment on this post, I'll put you in the drawing for this cash!! I have no idea how much it will be, but every little bit helps! You don't have to be a knitter or buy anything from my shop to be entered! Comment away!

I'm going to leave this post at the top of my blog so everyone can find it easily.

Here's the link to my shop Shelby B's Designs.

Worst and best.

2007 has both been the absolute worst and one of the best years I've had. At the beginning of 2007, I was looking forward to starting IUIs, which I was convinced would work pretty quickly. I had no idea what the different categories of a SA were, what ICSI was, what IVF really entailed, how it would feel to give myself injections daily, and the real toll that IF treatments take on a person and their loved ones. I was completely nieve. As the year progressed, I came to be very familiar with all of these things.

Here's my year in review-
January- submitted my new insurance card to SGF. 2 insurances are better than 1 when IUIs are covered at 50%! Up to Buffalo for my friend's stagette- man did I feel old out clubbing at bars I went to in my twenties! I also took my first trip to Las Vegas with my dad, aunt and uncle, other uncle, and 5 cousins. It was absolutely amazing!!
February- Glitch- insurance needed documentation from RE supporting my hubby's SA results. We meet with RE for consult- it seems the SA results were not good, and that IUI will not work, unless there's a miracle. IVF is our only option. Celebrated our little girl's 3rd birthday!
March- One of my best friends (R) and her husband get married the day after our 5 year wedding anniversary- it was also their 5 year dating anniversary since they got together at our wedding!! It was a fabulous party, and great to get hammered and celebrate with friends. see OB/GYN for 6 month check-up. He's shocked at the REs findings, but is very confident that IVF/ICSI will work, considering I've had one previous pregnancy that ended in the birth of our daughter. Also went home for my other best friend's (K) wedding shower, which was a lot of fun. Started this blog and found a community of women and men who are also dealing with infertility.
April- prepare mentally for IVF. Start bcp and get going.
May- cycle cancelled because of cysts. My SIL gets married!! We drive to Buffalo for Memorial Day weekend for K's bachelorette party- a pole dancing class and The Chocolate Bar- LOTS of fun!!
June- start and complete IVF #1. Celebrate my 31st birthday and my husband's 28th birthday. Another trip to Buffalo for K's wedding! We also take a vacation in the Finger Lakes for a whole week! Three days of which were just me and husband. We had an amazing time!
July- BFP!!! I was so excited and terrified at the same time when I saw the second line for the first time. Was it real? Would I lose a baby or end up with a viable pregnancy? Well, both happened. Twins turned into 1 healthy baby. Graduated from SGF!
August- See OB, who is thrilled!! All seems normal!! Referred to Dr. H, a MFM specialist.
September- see Dr. H, have first trimester screen, and all is perfect! But she's concerned with my sugars, and starts me on meds and testing immediately. Some spotting turns out to be nothing.
October- See OB and Dr. H again, stubborn child won't show us his/her sex! Sugars are not great, need to change my diet a lot. Also went to California for a conference!
November- another scan with Dr.H, we're having a boy!! See OB. Trip to Buffalo for Thanksgiving!
December- See Dr. H again. See OB. All is good. Celia's 4th Christmas, and this one was by far the best!

The first half of the year was mixed with good and bad, and the later half of the year was mostly great. I feel so lucky and fortunate to be where I am right now, 29 weeks 2 days pregnant with our son. It's been one hell of a year though. The ups and downs were awful. Sometimes it brought my husband and I closer together, others it pushed us farther apart. Definitely the most challenging year yet, and I'm SO glad it's over. The one unexpected good thing to come out of all of this cycling and treatment is that it has really helped me to appreciate my daughter even more than I did before. And therefore be a better parent. My daughter is my life. While I do lose patience with her from time to time (mostly at bedtime!), she's an amazing kid, and I make sure she knows just how much she means to me. I've made a point of spending more time with her and talking to her. She's only 3 but has SO much to say!!

We also decided to work towards a goal of moving back to the Buffalo area. Many of the reasons we left are also the reasons we want to move back. It's been really good to get away and establish our marriage and life on our own. But now we're ready to go back, and be closer to family. And deal with real snow again! Let's just hope the housing market here rebounds quickly, so it's an actual possibility for 2008!

What I'm looking forward to in 2008 is absolutely the birth of our second child. Another C-section will not be fun, but I'm looking forward to meeting this little guy! And having 3 months off from work. That will be really fantastic! Getting to know my daughter as a big girl- she'll be 4 in february!! Making time to spend with her, and being able to talk like we've started to. Getting back to normal again (if it's even possible), will also be really nice. Not worrying about getting pregnant (or not getting pregnant) again will be a nice. Hopefully with that pressure being gone, we can really start to focus on what we have and not what we can't seem to get.

I really do wish that everyone who is in search of a BFP will get theirs this year. I reallly, really, really am wishing hard for it. I hope everyone has a happy and safe new year!

All fixed!

Nathan came home for lunch yesterday (bringing food from Panera!), and easily saw what the problem was. Apparently the seal that goes from the tank to the metal tube that connects to the water line was shot. So he shut off the water, and planned to stop at Home Depot on the way home. At least it was a cheap and easy fix, and he was done in less than 10 minutes (which is huge for him...he's great at fixing things but most things take hours). Since he had to stop at Home Depot, and we had sandwiches for lunch (which was what I planned for dinner), I called him up and asked him to meet us at Applebees (it's right next to Home Depot) for dinner. So we got there around 5:15 and were seated pretty much right away. We ordered relatively quickly, and then waited for our food. Now last time we were there, I got an appetizer, which arrived at the same time as our dinner. So this time, I decided to pass on the appetizer. Which of course, made it so our dinner would take over an hour to get to our table. About 20 minutes after our order went in, the waiter came back to say they were out of corn dogs- which is what Celia had ordered. She was a bit upset, but brushed it off pretty well and chose the Mac and cheese instead. It was at least another 40 minutes until our food arrived, and I was famished!! Of course, my order was wrong. I had ordered the new meal with 3 mini cheeseburgers and fries. What came out?? Four mini cheeseburgers with lettuce and tomato. Now if I wasn't so hungry and really wanting some fries, I would have been fine with it. But I was STARVING and really wanted my fries!! So I told my waiter the problem and instead of leaving my plate and bringing me some freaking fries, he took my plate away!! I had to wait another 5 minutes for my food. Which wouldn't have been an issue, if I wasn't so freaking hungry! Let's just say after that, it will be a while before we go back to that particular Applebees.

it's always something.

I'm SO glad I am working from home today! I went into the upstairs bathroom for a potty break, and as I was about sit, I saw a drip of water hit the floor. From the toilet. Not a good thing!! Then I watched it for a minute, in case I was losing my mind, and I saw a few more drips. Again, from the toilet tank. So I run and call my husband, because I have no clue what to do here, and he asks me if I can get down and turn the valve. I tried not to laugh at him too hard, but it's in a corner, between the tub and toilet that has maybe a foot between them. And I'm supposed to squeeze where? Um, yeah. Not happening. So, he asked if I could try to get a bowl under there to catch the water until he can come home and do it himself. At least he didn't pack a lunch today, since he was busy running around and cleaning up clutter before our cleaning ladies arrived. So he'll be home for lunch, and a quick toilet check to see what's going on with it. This bathroom seriously needs to be gutted, but I don't want to have to do it. I'm hoping we can just get away with fixing the problem and not dealing with the rest. I'd hate to spend thousands on redoing a bathroom which we don't plan to use very often.

Oh what fun!

Celia's 4th christmas was an absolute blast!! I woke up to hit the bathroom around 6:15, and heard her wake up around 6:30, singing. She was singing "Jingle Bells" very quietly from her bed. It was absolutely precious! We waited for her to get up, which didn't happen until 7:20! I walked into her room around then, and she jumped up out of her bed, and asked if Santa came. When I said that he did, she squeeled and jumepd into my arms. It is one of those memories I hope I never, ever forget. She had fun opening her stocking, and actually took a break for some almond danish while Nathan got the webcam/skype up and running so his family could watch the festivities. Celia loved being able to see everyone, and showing everyone her presents. We all were spoiled rotten too, which is always fun! Santa brought Celia a bike, a sled ("the biggest sled ever!"), some legos, matchbox cars, and a few other things. She loved it all! Nathan got me a speaker system for my ipod, so I can have music where ever I want without having to use headphones. This will be very useful for when I'm dyeing, beading, cooking, or just want to rock out in the shower. I'm REALLY excited about that! I also got the knitting needle attatchments that I wanted from KnitPicks. Last year he got me the interchangable needle set, and since then they've come out with a new set with wooden tips. The nice thing, is that the metal and wood needle tips work on all cables, so I've now got some wooden tips, and also some new DPNs for more sock knitting. I swear, I have about 10 pairs of socks on the needles, so I always need more! One other awesome thing we got was from Nathan's parents- they gave us a gift certificate to Melting Pot!! I'm so psyched about this, and we're planning a night out in January to use it up before the baby comes. Especially when our 6th anniversary will be probably just before then (anniversary is March 2, baby will likely come the first week of march). And one of my SILs gave us a blown up picture of Celia that she took. She's an amazing photographer, so it really was quite an impressive gift! My Dad sent us a check so we'll use half for Celia, and split the other half between us. My mom's gifts did arrive, but we're waiting for her to get here on Saturday to open them. Much more fun that way!

Today I got some work done, but thankfully it was from the comfort of my couch. I love being able to login and be able to work from home once in a while. I did take a detour to the hospital to get my Rhogam shot. Gotta love being O negative. At least the wait wasn't too bad, and the shot didin't hurt at all- it was an IM and the nurse did it fast and easy. Before she did it, she asked if I was ready- I almost laughed and said that it was just another of many IM shots I've had in this pregnancy, but I resisted. I also got my hair done the other day. I wanted to go back to my natural color, so I don't have to worry about dealing with highlights when the baby gets here. The stylist suggested dyeing my roots to match the highlights (which totally defeats the purpuse since I'd have to do that regularly to keep it up), or going darker. So, I went darker. And man is it dark!! I know it will fade a bit over the next week or two, but man is it dark! I like it though. It's kind of a shock at first, but it is a lot of fun. I do that every so often- have the need to drastically change my hair. In grad school I cut it SHORT. I've dyed it red several times. This time, I'm going dark brown. My first thought was that it is the color of my cousin M's hair...which I do love. So it's definitely a good change. Just glad I have a few days before I have to hit the office again. Let it mellow out a little first.

I'll try to post pics in a few days. I realized the other day that I haven't posted any belly shots yet! I'll have to change that some time this week. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season! New Years is just around the corner. I can't believe it's almost 2008!!! I'm really excited about that because the summer olympics are this year, and I can't wait for Celia to see the gymnists compete!! She's really into gymnastics and it would be fun for her to see what she could do with it if she wants to. Fortunately or unfortunately, she's built for it and she loves it. Not that I'd ever let her compete like that, unless it was something she really wanted for herself.

Happy Christmas Eve!!

I can't believe that Christmas is tomorrow! Today has been an incredible day so far, and I feel like a kid awaiting the big day tomorrow! Celia has been great! Nathan had to work this morning, so Celia and I took advantage of that and went out for breakfast at IHOP. First time in ages that I managed to resist the pancakes! I ended up getting scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, potatoes and toast (only ate a bit of the potatoes and a quarter of the toast). It was SO good!! I wish I could make my scrambled eggs taste like that! After that, we headed home and watched Snow White for the tenth time this weekend. I called my OBs office and my bloodwork results were in, so we headed over there to grab them. Now I'm set for my Rhogam shot on wednesday. After we got home, we relaxed some more and played Candy Land. I still love that game! Nathan came home around 1 (we were going to have lunch and had some words when I called him at work at 12:30 and he hadn't left yet!) and we got lunch. I was STARVING! But we went to Green Turtle, so I ate well and was pretty content that it didn't completely kill my blood sugar (I splurged a little and had a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and tomato bisque soup AND some fries). After we got home, Nathan took Celia over to the elementary school (basically in our back yard) to play at the playground and I took a much needed 2 hour nap!

Celia has been running around the house in excitement all evening. She found Nathan's santa hat, and made him wear it and has been calling him Santa ever since. It's really cute!! It was so nice to have a day of "girl fun" with her. Or at least most of a day. She has been SO good, it's impressive. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that I have told her several times that Santa doesn't come to a houses of little girls who are naughty.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas tomorrow! Or at least enjoy a day off if you don't celebrate. My christmas wish this year is that all of you receive your BFPs this year and go on to have healthy babies! I can't wait to see what the new year brings! Hopefully only happiness!

Third Trimester.

Wow! I'm now officially at 28 weeks, which means I'm in my third trimester! I'm just so amazed that I've made it this far! If things go as they did with Celia, I'll be delivering in 10 weeks. 10 weeks!! The thought brings tears to my eyes! I can't wait to meet the little guy who has been playing soccer with my insides! Just not yet...let's give it a bit longer first!

I'm having to deal with the fact that I can't do everything I expect myself to be able to. Like today. We went to Wegmans down in Fairfax to do our grocery shopping for the holidays (yes...I drove 40 minutes to buy a freaking ham). We spent about 2 hours there, between grabbing pizza for lunch (REAL pizza too- yummy!!). After we got home, I baked cookies (cut-outs), relaxed for an hour, and it was time for dinner. Needless to say, I was way too tired to cook the beef tenderloin that I picked up at Wegmans, so it was off to Ruby Tuesdays for us! Then after we got home, we all decorated the cookies together. Usually I'm a total perfectionist when it comes to cut-out cookies and decorating them. But this year, we all jumped in, helped, and they look fun! Lots of bright colors and tons of sprinkles. It's hard to figure out what NEEDS to get done, what can slide, and what I can slack on. But if I don't come up with a good balance, I'll end up completely worn out and exhausted, which isn't good for any of us.

We've got a lot to do to get ready, and I finally feel like it's OK to start doing just that. We need to paint the nursery. Put the crib together, basinette together, get some boy clothes, and that sort of thing. The nice thing about having a baby after Xmas is that I'll be able to take full advantage of the sales! And I need to prepare mentally for his arrival. I'm really trying hard to avoid ending up with postpartum depression again, but I have a feeling it's inevitable. At least I know what signs to look for this time. I hope!

Notice I keep saying "he/him/his?" We still don't have a name for him. We can't agree! And it's getting annoying!! I'm hoping to have something pinned down in the next few weeks, but who knows!

Ok...I'm tired. I'm going to bed now. Sad that it's 9 and I can barely keep my eyes open.

holidays

I have a love-hate relationship with this time of year. As a child, I was amazed by everything! I loved lighting the menorah, decorating the tree, and spending time with family. And of course, Santa was my favorite part! As you get older, the magic seems to die a bit. I still remember the Christmas eve about 10 years ago, when my dad packed up his stuff and left. I was completely crushed. I knew my mom and dad weren't happy, and that things were going on that I didn't know about, but I didn't understand how he could leave his family on Christmas eve. I remember going shopping with friends (who kindly took me out to get my mind off things), and walking around the Boulevard Mall, trying not to cry the entire time. I felt numb. And how awful it must have been for my mom, to have her husband walk out on Christmas Eve. I got home, and my dad was back. He couldn't commit to leaving, made my mom some promises, and swore that things would change. I knew better at that moment, and knew it was just a matter of time. Another woman was involved, and while he was back, he wasn't really there. We went through the motions that year, no one was really happy. We all knew the inevitable was coming, and it did. 2 months later my dad left for good, and my parents were separated and divorced by the end of summer. While I know associating this with christmas is completely unfair, it's hard for me not to. The following Christmas, my mom, brother and I took a train to NYC to get away from the memories. We saw "A Christmas Carol", had amazing food, and just spent time together. It was great! But in the back of our heads, were the memories from the year before.

Ever since, I've dreaded this time of year. I tend to crawl into a shell, hide away and wait for the time to pass. This year it's been really easy to do at work, since we've been in a transition period and I was the first of many to move to our new spot. I had the place to myself for a few weeks. But at home, I can't really hide at all. My daughter is really experiencing Christmas for the first time. Even though this is her 4th Christmas, it's so different this year! She knows who Santa is, helped us really decorate the tree. Helped bake cookies. Helped wrap some presents. She's experiencing all of the magic that christmas should bring! She also was the same with Hanukkah. She loved lighting the candles, playing dreidel, and eating the latkes and brisket I made. Her joy is starting to rub off on me, and is helping me to really love the holidays again. While I'm pretty far away from being joyful this time of year, it's definitely helping me get excited for christmas again. It's amazing to me, how one event around the holidays can change how you feel about it for ever. I'll probably never let a christmas eve pass without thinking about the one years back when my dad left (and came back). I'm just really glad that the sadness associated with it is really starting to diminish, and I'm actually looking forward to Christmas this year. My daughter's magic is rubbing off on me, and I'm so grateful for that!

I hope all of you have a wonderful Holiday season, and that this is the last you'll have to get through before your dreams come true.

another peek

Today I had my ultrasound with the high risk doc, and my OB appointment! Baby boy has gotten a lot bigger since last time, he is now measuring in at approximately 2 pounds 7 ounces! What a big guy! Everything else looked perfect, except for the fact that he's breech. Not that I had any hopes for a VBAC (I was pretty sure I didn't want to attempt it), but it would have been nice to have the option there! I am glad however that he isn't transverse anymore. That was getting quite uncomfortable. I thought I felt him rotate a bit last week, and I'm glad that I was right. However it's a very good thing we got a peek 4 weeks ago! Otherwise we'd have not been able to find out the gender. Something about my uterus and babies butts like being jammed way down at the bottom. At any rate, she was very happy with my ultrasound, and the fact that my sugars have been way better. Not perfect, but usually it's because I've been bad. Like tuesday morning, yes I did have to have that banana with breakfast!!

My OB's visit was short and sweet. While I didn't get stuck for the glucose screen, I did get stuck for an antibody check. I'm Rh negative, so they need to check my antibody level so I can get my rho.gam shot. I should have the results tomorrow morning, so hopefully the shot can happen tomorrow afternoon. The only annoying thing is that even though I work RIGHT across the street from Sha.dy Gr.ove hospital, I have to drive all the way over to Ho.ly Cro.ss for the shot. Hopefully it won't be too busy tomorrow afternoon. Otherwise I'll just wait until wednesday next week.

Celia is feeling a bit better. Her cough is awful still, but at least she's not feeling as sick as she did yesterday. She hasn't been resting as much today. Yesterday the entire day was spent resting on the couch with me. It was really nice. I hate it when she's sick, but it's so nice when she curls up with me and rests. Not something she normally does often at all. Thankfully my throat is a bit better today too, so hopefully it's going to disappear on it's own.

sickness

Well, the kiddo has had a cold for about a week and a half to 2 weeks now. Every day she keeps pouting and saying how she doesn't feel good and wants to go to the doctor. But it's just a cold, and I don't want to waste the doctor's time. So last night, the cough completely changed. It's much deeper and more chesty, so to the Doctor we'll be heading this morning. I was able to get her in at 11 (or was it 11:15? I need to write these things down!), but it was quite an ordeal getting the appointment. I called the office we go to, and there was a message saying to call the other office since no one was in to answer phones. So I do, and finally get through after 10 minutes of trying. They say that they just talked to the office we use, and that I have to call there, that the person was in to answer the phones now. Crap. So I waste another 10 minutes dialing to get through, and finally do, and the earliest I could get her in was 11. Usually when I call early, I get through pretty quickly and can get the 8:30 appointment (since I live 5 minutes from the office). So my work day is now screwed up, I will get a little done this morning from home, but then I have to take her to the doc, get her checked out, find out if we need to get meds or take her to school or keep her home the rest of the day. What a huge pain in the arse. And I wouldn't be as worried if I wasn't feeling like crap too. Though for me, it's my throat. If she's sick and has an actual infection, then I need to get in to the doc too. I'm pretty sure mine is just viral though.

Well, at least I have an appointment for a massage tonight at 5:30, so I"ll be nice and relaxed. My back has really been killing me the last few days, so I really need it.

EDITED: Well, we're back from the pediatrician, and it looks like Celia has low-grade pneumonia! I had no idea! I'm so glad I took her in, since I almost didn't. He spent a bit of time listening to her lungs, and there's definitely a good infection going on. So she's on antibiotics, and hopefully will be on the mend soon. She's home from preschool today and tomorrow, and thankfully the hubby will stay with her tomorrow, since I have my peri and OB appointments tomorrow morning! And I may have to squeeze in a GP appointment if my throat isn't any better tomorrow.

baking

Yesterday was the annual "drink and bake" with some friends, and we had some fun!! We got started around 9:30, and made 10 different types of cookies. I made only 3, but didn't feel so badly about that, since I was exhausted and had to sit down and take a lot of breaks. Plus with one oven it's hard to coordinate baking times, temps, and the like with 3 people. I left a bunch of dough I did the night before for this morning. All of the cookies were amazing! And most of them were new recipes (with the exception of 2 of mine...I always do Andes Candies/Milk chocolate chip cookies, and cut-out butter cookies. After baking, the three of us headed to Carrabbas, for a nice dinner out after our long day of baking. The food was amazing as always, I love it there!!

Today I did a little more baking and may do some more this afternoon. But I'm so exhausted, that I may just put it off until next weekend. But we'll see how the days goes. I definitely need a nap. I thankfully was able to ask Nathan to head to Target this morning to get the last few things for Celia, and do the grocery shopping. I also asked him on the way out if he'd mind bringing home drive-thru for lunch. Don't care where, as long as I get something to eat that I don't have to prepare. Especially since I'm making Chili for dinner.

Later, I'll post a pic of all the cookies we made yesterday. Thankfully they'll make some great gifts!

A few random things

First, I need to take a second to tell you about JJ! For those of you who don't know of her, you should! She's an extremely talented IF blogger, who has an amazing Christmas CD out! She has a beautiful voice, and has put together a CD for the holidays! She's selling it over on her blog to help fund her IVF treatments, and I got my copy last week. It's really beautiful, and I love all of the songs on it! It's been in my car since I got it, and it's the perfect addition to anyone's holiday collection! Thanks for sharing your voice with us JJ!!

Pregnancy update- Things are going well! My sugars are MUCH better after upping the night dose, which is a huge relief. I've been having a little bit of cramping here and there, but apparently that's normal. Nothing regular, or strong. And baby is moving around like crazy! I must get kicked 100+ times per day. I'm pretty sure he's still transverse, which is stretching me in ways I've never been stretched. My next ultrasound is next thursday, so just over a week to go!!

Kid update- I had Celia's first parent-teacher conference on Monday. I do talk with her teacher most days when I pick her up from school, but it was nice to get a chunk of 1-on-1 time with her, really get an idea of what they're learning and working on, and how Celia is doing. Her report card was as close to stellar as you can get! She's right on target for her age developmentally, which is always good to hear. And she loves to learn! It was great too, because I got to see Celia in the middle fo the day. Granted, it was during naptime, so she was on her cot the whole time, but she actually stayed there! And I got to give her hugs and kisses when I left. We were so proud of her, that we decided to take her out for dinner and to the library that night. She was so excited about that, and picked ChickFilA as her restaurant of choice. She's been so good since too! Even listening better! At the bottom of the post, I'm going to put a pic of our girl, as we were celebrating Hanukkah. And a pic of her with her new haircut.

This afternoon Nathan and I are taking a half day to do some more Xmas shopping. It's hard to find time to shop for Celia (or at least "santa" shop for Celia) when she's with us. Or on the weekend, because everywhere is just so crowded. I purposely saved 4 hours of personal time to use for this- and I have to use it by the end of the year, otherwise I lose it. Hopefully we can agree on some gifts for her.

Just 3 more days til the weekend! I've got some recipes together for my baking day, and I just need to find 1 or 2 new ones I haven't tried before. Now I just need to hope that we don't get snowed out.

Here's a few pics of our girl. I'm just so incredibly proud of her this week!!

nice weekend

So thankfully, after my crappy day on Thursday, I had a fantastic weekend. Very busy, but it was a lot of fun. And we had literally NO plans. I had been invited to a cookie party on Sunday, but I decided with being sick and exhausted, that it wasn't a good idea to overdo it.

Saturday, as we were getting Celia ready for gymnastics, I was trying to get her to let me brush her hair and put it in pig-tails to keep it out of her face. She was not having any of it though, and she completely refused. I told her that if she wants to keep taking gymnastics, that it might be a good idea to cut her hair shorter so it's not in her face, since she won't let me put it up. She was so excited about that idea. I asked her if she was sure that she wanted it short, and she said "mommy, it will grow back!". Smart kid. So after her class, we went to the mall for Xmas shopping, to get her new boots/hat/scarf/mittens, and to see Santa. Since Santa was late, we decided to just get her hair cut anyways. Since it was a shorter cut, we went to Bubbles (which is the salon I usually go to) which was in the mall. Much better than the cartoon place as far as quality of hair cut goes. At the cartoon place they're all about speed, not style. So she got a really great hair cut (for a whopping $25), and was all set to see Santa. Her pics turned out way too cute too. She's really becoming such a big girl. After we did that, we did a little shopping and grabbed lunch. By 1, the mall was mobbed, so we left and went home. Spent the afternoon watching TV (and I took a nap), and went to my favorite Mexican place for dinner. YUM!! Then Nathan and I sat and watched a movie ("Little Miss Sunshine"), which was great! I really enjoyed it. It was nice to watch a movie that we both could watch (not a chick flick).

Yesterday was cleaning day. I went grocery shopping (early, before it got busy), then came back and we started on the office. 2 hours later, we can walk in, we got rid of a bunch of boxes, and things are getting more organized. This is so exciting to me! The last month and a half, I've had to close the door so the cleaning lady wouldn't go in there (it was really impossible to walk in there without tripping). And yesterday, I vacuumed it! I still can't see my desk, but I can live with that for now. That's a project for next weekend. Maybe. Then we hit the kitchen, and worked on the piles on the island. It was basically covered with piles of papers, and random things. Getting better, but still have some work to do before my cookie baking extravaganza on Saturday. I've got 2 friends coming Saturday (both worked at the same place I do, in a different group. One still does, the other now lives in PA right near Wilmington, Delaware, and we've been getting together every year for the last 5 years to bake cookies together. Usually margaritas are involved, and we end up baking like 15 different types of cookies. YUM!

So that was my weekend. My favorite part was dinner last night. I made beef-barley soup. Using my favorite barley/lima bean soup mix and some beef ribs. It turned out SO well! I've never seen Celia eat anything the way she ate that soup. It made me really happy.

Another interesting thing was a phone conversation I had with my mom last night. I was telling her about my job changes that may be happening. I said something like "I just wish that this had happened 6 months ago". I'd have been so much better off if I had time first. Instead of having it happen as I'm getting ready to start thinking about being on leave for 3 months. She laughed at me, and said that I was crazy! That if this had happened 6 months ago, that I would have snapped and said "fuck this, I quit!!". And sadly, she's right. That was just as I was going through IVF. I was not in a great place to be dealing with any major changes at that point. I probably would have walked out of the meeting the other day after saying just those words. I was really amazed at how in tune she was with how I was really doing then. How hard it really was to make it through the cycles leading up to and during IVF. It made me want to reach through the phone and give her a huge hug. She really is the best.

sucky day

Yesterday afternoon was busy!! I had 2 meetings, back-to-back, which can always be stressful. The first was a "Communications" meeting, which is basically an all hands meeting, to clear up some of the rumors going around. There are always rumors going around, and we never know what to believe, so it's nice to have these meetings once in a while. The president was there and did most of the talking. Including telling us that we'll all be receiving a copy of his new autobiography next Thursday if we show up to work. And that they'll all be signed copies. I'm glad I didn't go buy one, since I thought about it. I may not always love what I do, but it is pretty cool work.

Anyways, after the all hands meeting, we had a meeting within my group, which is now just 7 of us. It was good to find out some of the other things going on, but a little upsetting at the same time. I was hoping to get through to my Maternity leave without any major changes to my every day job, and it looks like that may not happen. Not exactly great news. But we'll see how things go. I'm open to anything at this point. I just can't wait for my maternity leave to start...I so need a break from all of the drama!

Whole new person!

Feeling MUCH better today!! And, the roads were clear, which was a huge plus. I got to work in plenty of time to make my massage, which was fantastic. I love that they bring in a massage therapist twice a month. For $30, I get a half hour of bliss...and it was amazing today. Apparently my left shoulder and left side of my neck are very tight and really knotted up. Maybe I should schedule a full hour at a spa one of these days. The last hour long one I had was in California, so it's been a while.

Have back-to-back meetings to go to this afternoon, so the rest of the day should hopefully fly by!

Let it snow!

Still feeling like crap, so I was on the fence on whether or not to make it into work today. When I saw the snow, my decision was finalized easily. People around here drive like NUTS in the snow. Like it's the first time they've ever seen the stuff! I was very impressed that the schools in Montgomery county were actually open! We have about an inch now, and it's still coming down in pretty fat flakes. My husband took the kiddo to day care this morning, and headed for work. About 30 minutes later, he called to say I should be glad that I didn't bother going on- 270 was closed going south due to an accident, and traffic was barely moving anywhere. He had just passed the onramp to 270. About a half hour later, he calls back, and says that he finally got to the point where you can turn around, and he did. He had barely moved 1/4 of a mile in a half hour. And apparently 355 was a mess because of all of the 270 bail-out traffic (he works right off of 355, but first has to go down it a few miles). So he got home at 9:15, over an hour after he left the house. Needless to say, he's working at home this morning, and may go in after lunch if necessary, but considering most of the guys he works with have decided to work from home, he likely will stay too.

It really amuses me to see how nutty everyone gets in the snow here. At home, we'd get 8 inches of snow overnight, and it would still be coming down in the morning. We'd brush off our cars, and head to work or class. UB never closes! It takes like 3 feet at a time to get the school to close. And maybe 18 inches to get the districts to close.

I was saying this morning to Nathan, one of the other reasons I really want to move back is because of the snow- the VERY reason I insisted so much on leaving in the first place. As a kid, I used to live for the snow. On weekends, I'd be out in my back yard, playing in the snow, making snow angels, skiing on my cross country skis, building forts, snowmen, and just having crazy fun snowball wars. It was the best! Here, we're lucky if we get enough snow to use a sled once a year. Now, I can't ski (my knees would dislocate if I fell), but the skiing there is fabulous too. I could do the lodge with some knitting and hot chocolate or a hot tottie. I still find it ironic that the very reasons we left are the same reasons we want to go back. Now if only the housing market would cooperate, we won't have to put up with another fall/winter here!

blech.

So this morning, I woke up feeling off. I couldn't figure out what it was, but something was just weird. I went into work, worked straight through the morning, had lunch, and then it hit me. I suddenly had a splitting headache and my stomach was not good. Including the fact that I'm congested and have been coughing and sneezing, it didn't make for good combination. Needless to say, I made it until about 1:30, when I got to my car and drove straight home. I feel like I'm coming down with something. So I slept, from 2 until 4:30. It helped a little (or at least the Tylen.ol helped my head). Yeah, I'm so taking it easy tonight. And the Latkes didn't happen at all. The thought of anything fried or greasy makes me want to vomit.

I hope that getting the nap and getting to bed early helps. This really is not fun.

Woo hoo!!

85 this morning! Two days in a row where my blood sugar was below 90!! I'm so excited! I hope this is a new trend, and that I can stop expecting it to be 110.

I've had some very odd dreams the last few nights. One last night involved having an emergency C-section at 25 weeks, but they didn't take the baby out. They went in for something, and tried to close me up, but the "fast acting" anesthesia was not working. So I could feel them closing me up. Then they said that something was wrong and that the baby was in distress and I was bleeding too much. Scared the crap out of me! I woke up, and the baby was kicking me like crazy. It was kind of funny, but I was definitely a bit panicked. In another dream, I was staying in a hotel with a group of women I went to high school with. Some of them I haven't seen in 10+ years, others I have seen more recently. We each had our own rooms, and we were all pregnant and had OB appointments. And all had to take the Glucola for the GD screening test. Some had different flavors, and I was jealous, because I had orange. But I was the only one with a fridge in my room. Then I went to the bathroom, and heard Barenaled Ladies' version of "Auld Lang Syne" coming through the window of my room. I look outside, and there's a BNL concert going on right outside the hotel!! Then I felt Celia rubbing my back telling me it was time to get up.

And tonight at sundown is when Hanukkah starts, which I'm excited about. I did my reading (shut up- I have Judaism for Dummies...I admit it!), so I think I'm ready. I just need to find my Latke recipe, and I'll be happy. I made them last year by tweaking Ina Garten's recipe, and they were SO good!!

Food and FUN!!

Yesterday, Leah hosted a cookie exchange for the DC bloggers, and it was amazing!! There were 6 of us, and 6 different cookies, and lots of great conversation. We also came up with a few ideas for upcoming get togethers, which was fun. And, I didn't behave at all. Granted I probably ate about 3 ounces of cheese, but I also ate 7 or 8 cookies, AND had the Ruby Sipper, which was an amazing beverage that Leah made for us. ALL had sugar. AND I had 2 more after dinner. Now the ironic part about this?? My blood sugar level this morning was 84. What the hell?? Seriously, I have no understanding of how or why it was low. Nathan's only suggestion was that I was really good for dinner. I had a huge piece of steak (from Whole Foods, so it was REALLY good), some rice, green beans, and a glass of milk. Then 2 cookies. But for the most part, it was pretty healthy, and low carb. I have absolutely no idea.

Anyway!! I got Celia in bed, and went to wash her new sheets. Just before we went to Buffalo for the holiday, she crawled in our bed, which has flannel sheets on it at the moment. She commented on how soft and warm they were, and I asked her if she wanted a set for her bed. She was so excited, and said that she'd love some. So, Friday on my way home, I stopped for some flannel sheets at Bed, Bath and Beyond. They had this really pretty light blue/green color, so I got those. Now this is where I'm a complete idiot. I got them in Twin size. Seriously, what was I thinking?? My mom brought her my old bed (an antique) back in September, which is full sized. I know this, as it was my bed for about 18 years. How could I screw this up?? So, as I was going to wash the sheets last night, I go to open the package, and realize what I had done. Now this wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that when I was putting her to bed, we talked about how I was going to go wash her sheets, so we could make her bed tomorrow after school. She was so excited. I realized what I had done, and nearly cried. I really hate disappointing her, especially when it's such a stupid mistake on my part. I told her this morning about the error, and she was definitely a bit upset. She was really looking forward to it. In fact, she couldn't wait for me to pick her up at school (and wanted me to even though I will be late (acupuncture appointment this afternoon). I told her that her daddy will pick her up today, but I will tomorrow. And since I was running late this morning, and thankfully BB&B opens at 9, I ran over on my way to work (there's one about 2 minutes from my house and on my way to work) and picked up a new set of sheets. Here's where I'm upset again. They didn't have the same color. The only blue color they had was navy. Or white or ivory. Since her first choice was pink, then blue, I went with the Navy. I really hope she likes them. If I'm lucky, I'll walk in the door, throw the sheets in the washer, and they'll be dry in time to make her bed tonight. I hope. Otherwise it will be tomorrow. I just really hate disappointing people, and it's magnified a million times when I disappoint my little girl.

a success!

My craft show yesterday was great!! It was at the Bauer Drive Community center in Rockville, and it was great! Lots of poeple, my table partner/friend was fantastic, and we had a great day. And we both sold somewhere around $175 worth of stuff! Between that, and my little show at work the day before, I sold 225 this weekend. I'm so pleased and amazed! Only a few of the things I sold were yarn related- but I'll throw them into the tally when I figure out how much I'll be donating to a fellow IF blogger! It felt really good to hand my husband some cash yesterday. With his side job, we both get a 25% cut from the proceeds after taxes. So, I did the same. I think he was a little surprised, but happy none the less.

Then I got home, after dinner at a place called Urban Burger which was fantastic, and he was in the process of setting up the Christmas tree!! In our house growing up, we always celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah (mom was catholic, dad is Jewish). So we have been doing the same with Celia. And it makes me happy! Because I actually get to learn a little more about Judaism as I go along, which I really don't remember much about. I only went to Hebrew school for a few years when I was little.

Anyways, I'm excited that the holidays are coming! Today I'm meeting up with the DC bloggers for a cookie exchange! I made my cookies last night as Nathan put together the tree, and then we all decorated it together. Needless to say, after the craft show, tree and cookies, I slept great last night! Unfortunately I'm still pretty exhausted, but I have a feeling that as the cookie exchange gets closer, I'll wake up more. I can't wait!