Monday, December 31, 2007

Worst and best.

2007 has both been the absolute worst and one of the best years I've had. At the beginning of 2007, I was looking forward to starting IUIs, which I was convinced would work pretty quickly. I had no idea what the different categories of a SA were, what ICSI was, what IVF really entailed, how it would feel to give myself injections daily, and the real toll that IF treatments take on a person and their loved ones. I was completely nieve. As the year progressed, I came to be very familiar with all of these things.

Here's my year in review-
January- submitted my new insurance card to SGF. 2 insurances are better than 1 when IUIs are covered at 50%! Up to Buffalo for my friend's stagette- man did I feel old out clubbing at bars I went to in my twenties! I also took my first trip to Las Vegas with my dad, aunt and uncle, other uncle, and 5 cousins. It was absolutely amazing!!
February- Glitch- insurance needed documentation from RE supporting my hubby's SA results. We meet with RE for consult- it seems the SA results were not good, and that IUI will not work, unless there's a miracle. IVF is our only option. Celebrated our little girl's 3rd birthday!
March- One of my best friends (R) and her husband get married the day after our 5 year wedding anniversary- it was also their 5 year dating anniversary since they got together at our wedding!! It was a fabulous party, and great to get hammered and celebrate with friends. see OB/GYN for 6 month check-up. He's shocked at the REs findings, but is very confident that IVF/ICSI will work, considering I've had one previous pregnancy that ended in the birth of our daughter. Also went home for my other best friend's (K) wedding shower, which was a lot of fun. Started this blog and found a community of women and men who are also dealing with infertility.
April- prepare mentally for IVF. Start bcp and get going.
May- cycle cancelled because of cysts. My SIL gets married!! We drive to Buffalo for Memorial Day weekend for K's bachelorette party- a pole dancing class and The Chocolate Bar- LOTS of fun!!
June- start and complete IVF #1. Celebrate my 31st birthday and my husband's 28th birthday. Another trip to Buffalo for K's wedding! We also take a vacation in the Finger Lakes for a whole week! Three days of which were just me and husband. We had an amazing time!
July- BFP!!! I was so excited and terrified at the same time when I saw the second line for the first time. Was it real? Would I lose a baby or end up with a viable pregnancy? Well, both happened. Twins turned into 1 healthy baby. Graduated from SGF!
August- See OB, who is thrilled!! All seems normal!! Referred to Dr. H, a MFM specialist.
September- see Dr. H, have first trimester screen, and all is perfect! But she's concerned with my sugars, and starts me on meds and testing immediately. Some spotting turns out to be nothing.
October- See OB and Dr. H again, stubborn child won't show us his/her sex! Sugars are not great, need to change my diet a lot. Also went to California for a conference!
November- another scan with Dr.H, we're having a boy!! See OB. Trip to Buffalo for Thanksgiving!
December- See Dr. H again. See OB. All is good. Celia's 4th Christmas, and this one was by far the best!

The first half of the year was mixed with good and bad, and the later half of the year was mostly great. I feel so lucky and fortunate to be where I am right now, 29 weeks 2 days pregnant with our son. It's been one hell of a year though. The ups and downs were awful. Sometimes it brought my husband and I closer together, others it pushed us farther apart. Definitely the most challenging year yet, and I'm SO glad it's over. The one unexpected good thing to come out of all of this cycling and treatment is that it has really helped me to appreciate my daughter even more than I did before. And therefore be a better parent. My daughter is my life. While I do lose patience with her from time to time (mostly at bedtime!), she's an amazing kid, and I make sure she knows just how much she means to me. I've made a point of spending more time with her and talking to her. She's only 3 but has SO much to say!!

We also decided to work towards a goal of moving back to the Buffalo area. Many of the reasons we left are also the reasons we want to move back. It's been really good to get away and establish our marriage and life on our own. But now we're ready to go back, and be closer to family. And deal with real snow again! Let's just hope the housing market here rebounds quickly, so it's an actual possibility for 2008!

What I'm looking forward to in 2008 is absolutely the birth of our second child. Another C-section will not be fun, but I'm looking forward to meeting this little guy! And having 3 months off from work. That will be really fantastic! Getting to know my daughter as a big girl- she'll be 4 in february!! Making time to spend with her, and being able to talk like we've started to. Getting back to normal again (if it's even possible), will also be really nice. Not worrying about getting pregnant (or not getting pregnant) again will be a nice. Hopefully with that pressure being gone, we can really start to focus on what we have and not what we can't seem to get.

I really do wish that everyone who is in search of a BFP will get theirs this year. I reallly, really, really am wishing hard for it. I hope everyone has a happy and safe new year!