learning.

Well, I'm learning quite a bit about what I can and cannot handle right now. Yesterday morning, I spent about an hour and a half on my feet, which I soon realized was a very bad idea. I was sore all day, and contracting a lot, but they weren't strong enough to worry about. The doc said to only worry at this point if they're between 4-7 on the pain scale from 1-10. Most of them were 1 or 2. With only about 10 at level 3. Thankfully there was no real pattern to them. But it's definitley not good. Needless to say, yesterday was a day of 20mg doses instead of 10mg doses. After my morning, I relaxed ALL day. I watched some TV, including 101 Dalmations about 3 times. Celia tends to find a movie she likes, and watches it all weekend, and then by the next weekend she's ready for a new movie. It's kind of cute. Anyway, I did make dinner last night, but other than that, I relaxed a lot. I slept really well, but woke up 3 or 4 times with contractions. At least it was at the right times to take more medicine, and hit the bathroom.

I'm trying today with 10mg doses and we'll see how that goes. I made breakfast this morning- pancakes. And that was overdoing it. Then sitting and eating at the table started to hurt pretty quickly too, which has been the case the last few meals I've eaten. Now I'm relaxing again, and plan on it for the rest of the day. Nathan will go do the grocery shopping shortly, and Celia and I will play some candyland, and probably watch 101 dalmations for the second time today.

Here's what I'm learning so far:
- I think the pro.cardia is helping. Though I'm still having a good number of contractions, they aren't nearly as strong as they were (at least most of them).
- My limit for standing is 30 minutes. If I'm up any longer than that, I really start hurting.
- Sitting is getting harder all the time. After about a half hour or 45 minutes, I start getting crampy. And my back aches. If I get up and walk around, it helps, but that causes more discomfort if I'm up for too long.
- Laying down is good! I am less crampy, achey, and can lay for 2 hours at a time before needing to shift. Unless of course, I have to get up to use the bathroom. Even if it's half-laying down, it's still better than sitting or standing.
- Sleeping is good too. Though when I roll onto my back (at least part way, since my snoogle keeps me from being flat on my back), I feel the tightening and pressure of the contractions a lot more. On my side is best for sure.
- Going up and down stairs is really bad. Every time I do, I cramp up.
- This whole ordeal is making me VERY tired!! I'm not sure if it's the contractions, stress, worry, or combination of it all. But I'm so tired!! I feel like I could sleep from 9pm-8am easily, and take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon without it affecting my night's sleep.

I'm definitely curious to see how tomorrow goes. I'm hoping that laying down most of today, maybe napping, and just overall relaxing will help me get through the whole day. Definitely need to come up with a plan with my supervisor on how to proceed, given that I will likely be on bedrest within a few weeks. I know that whatever I have to do for my son's health and my health is way more important than any job. But it's so hard for me to admit defeat. I always push through. I can handle anything! My last pregnancy, I worked up until the day I got the phone call from my OB saying that my placenta had started to deteriorate, and they needed to move up my C-section. I was home for only one day before that surgery. And probably would have worked had my boss at the time not insisted I pack up and go home immediately after receiving the phone call. Work has been very stressful lately, and we have so much going on! Lots of deadlines. Lots of drama. And I need to be present! If I'm not around, I fear that I will be seen as disposable. And I need my job. I'm just SO glad I don't work in a lab right now!! My last pregnancy I was in a lab, on my feet about 60% of the time, and I was fine. A little uncomfortable the last few weeks, but mainly I was OK. That would be impossible right now! The only reason I am able to work at all for now is because I am at a computer 100% of the time. Otherwise I have a feeling that I wouldn't have a choice right now.

So lots of rest today, and we'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm definitely going to have to chat with my boss when she gets in about how to proceed from now on. She should be in mid-afternoon. So hopefully I can make it that long!!